CHAPTER XV

We judged that three nights more would fetch us to Cairo,

at the bottom of Illinois,

where the Ohio River comes in,

and that was what we was after.

We would sell the raft and get on a steamboat and go way up the Ohio amongst the free states,

and then be out of trouble.

Well,

the second night a fog begun to come on,

and we made for a towhead to tie to,

for it wouldn't do to try to run in a fog;

but when I paddled ahead in the canoe,

with the line to make fast,

there warn't anything but little saplings to tie to.

I passed the line around one of them right on the edge of the cut bank,

but there was a stiff current,

and the raft come booming down so lively she tore it out by the roots and away she went.

I see the fog closing down,

and it made me so sick and scared I couldn't budge for most a half a minute it seemed to me --and then there warn't no raft in sight;

you couldn't see twenty yards.

I jumped into the canoe and run back to the stern,

and grabbed the paddle and set her back a stroke.

But she didn't come.

I was in such a hurry I hadn't untied her.

I got up and tried to untie her,

but I was so excited my hands shook so I couldn't hardly do anything with them.

As soon as I got started I took out after the raft,

hot and heavy,

right down the towhead.

That was all right as far as it went,

but the towhead warn't sixty yards long,

and the minute I flew by the foot of it I shot out into the solid white fog,

and hadn't no more idea which way I was going than a dead man.

Thinks I,

it won't do to paddle;

first I know I'll run into the bank or a towhead or something;

I got to set still and float,

and yet it's mighty fidgety business to have to hold your hands still at such a time.

I whooped and listened.

Away down there somewheres I hears a small whoop,

and up comes my spirits.

I went tearing after it,

listening sharp to hear it again.

The next time it come I see I warn't heading for it,

but heading away to the right of it.

And the next time I was heading away to the left of it --and not gaining on it much either,

for I was flying around,

this way and that and t'other,

but it was going straight ahead all the time.

I did wish the fool would think to beat a tin pan,

and beat it all the time,

but he never did,

and it was the still places between the whoops that was making the trouble for me.

Well,

I fought along,

and directly I hears the whoop _behind_ me.

I was tangled good now.

That was somebody else's whoop,

or else I was turned around.

I throwed the paddle down.

I heard the whoop again;

it was behind me yet,

but in a different place;

it kept coming,

and kept changing its place,

and I kept answering,

till by and by it was in front of me again,

and I knowed the current had swung the canoe's head down-stream,

and I was all right if that was Jim and not some other raftsman hollering.

I couldn't tell nothing about voices in a fog,

for nothing don't look natural nor sound natural in a fog.

The whooping went on,

and in about a minute I come a-booming down on a cut bank with smoky ghosts of big trees on it,

and the current throwed me off to the left and shot by,

amongst a lot of snags that fairly roared,

the current was tearing by them so swift.

In another second or two it was solid white and still again.

I set perfectly still then,

listening to my heart thump,

and I reckon I didn't draw a breath while it thumped a hundred.

I just give up then.

I knowed what the matter was.

That cut bank was an island,

and Jim had gone down t'other side of it.

It warn't no towhead that you could float by in ten minutes.

It had the big timber of a regular island;

it might be five or six miles long and more than half a mile wide.

I kept quiet,

with my ears cocked,

about fifteen minutes,

I reckon.

I was floating along,

of course,

four or five miles an hour;

but you don't ever think of that.

No,

you _feel_ like you are laying dead still on the water;

and if a little glimpse of a snag slips by you don't think to yourself how fast _you're_ going,

but you catch your breath and think,

my!

how that snag's tearing along.

If you think it ain't dismal and lonesome out in a fog that way by yourself in the night,

you try it once --you'll see.

Next,

for about a half an hour,

I whoops now and then;

at last I hears the answer a long ways off,

and tries to follow it,

but I couldn't do it,

and directly I judged I'd got into a nest of towheads,

for I had little dim glimpses of them on both sides of me --sometimes just a narrow channel between,

and some that I couldn't see I knowed was there because I'd hear the wash of the current against the old dead brush and trash that hung over the banks.

Well,

I warn't long loosing the whoops down amongst the towheads;

and I only tried to chase them a little while,

anyway,

because it was worse than chasing a Jack-o'-lantern.

You never knowed a sound dodge around so,

and swap places so quick and so much.

I had to claw away from the bank pretty lively four or five times,

to keep from knocking the islands out of the river;

and so I judged the raft must be butting into the bank every now and then,

or else it would get further ahead and clear out of hearing --it was floating a little faster than what I was.

Well,

I seemed to be in the open river again by and by,

but I couldn't hear no sign of a whoop nowheres.

I reckoned Jim had fetched up on a snag,

maybe,

and it was all up with him.

I was good and tired,

so I laid down in the canoe and said I wouldn't bother no more.

I didn't want to go to sleep,

of course;

but I was so sleepy I couldn't help it;

so I thought I would take jest one little cat-nap.

But I reckon it was more than a cat-nap,

for when I waked up the stars was shining bright,

the fog was all gone,

and I was spinning down a big bend stern first.

First I didn't know where I was;

I thought I was dreaming;

and when things began to come back to me they seemed to come up dim out of last week.

It was a monstrous big river here,

with the tallest and the thickest kind of timber on both banks;

just a solid wall,

as well as I could see by the stars.

I looked away down-stream,

and seen a black speck on the water.

I took after it;

but when I got to it it warn't nothing but a couple of saw-logs made fast together.

Then I see another speck,

and chased that;

then another,

and this time I was right.

It was the raft.

When I got to it Jim was setting there with his head down between his knees,

asleep,

with his right arm hanging over the steering-oar.

The other oar was smashed off,

and the raft was littered up with leaves and branches and dirt.

So she'd had a rough time.

I made fast and laid down under Jim's nose on the raft,

and began to gap,

and stretch my fists out against Jim,

and says:

"Hello,

Jim,

have I been asleep?

Why didn't you stir me up?"

"Goodness gracious,

is dat you,

Huck?

En you ain' dead --you ain' drownded --you's back ag'in?

It's too good for true,

honey,

it's too good for true.

Lemme look at you chile,

lemme feel o' you.

No,

you ain' dead!

you's back ag'in,

'live en soun',

jis de same ole Huck --de same ole Huck,

thanks to goodness!"

"What's the matter with you,

Jim?

You been a-drinking?"

"Drinkin'?

Has I ben a-drinkin'?

Has I had a chance to be a-drinkin'?"

"Well,

then,

what makes you talk so wild?"

"How does I talk wild?"

"_How?_ Why,

hain't you been talking about my coming back,

and all that stuff,

as if I'd been gone away?"

"Huck --Huck Finn,

you look me in de eye;

look me in de eye.

_Hain't_ you ben gone away?"

"Gone away?

Why,

what in the nation do you mean?

_I_ hain't been gone anywheres.

Where would I go to?"

"Well,

looky here,

boss,

dey's sumfn wrong,

dey is.

Is I _me_,

or who _is_ I?

Is I heah,

or whah _is_ I?

Now dat's what I wants to know."

"Well,

I think you're here,

plain enough,

but I think you're a tangle-headed old fool,

Jim."

"I is,

is I?

Well,

you answer me dis: Didn't you tote out de line in de canoe fer to make fas' to de towhead?"

"No,

I didn't.

What towhead?

I hain't seen no towhead."

"You hain't seen no towhead?

Looky here,

didn't de line pull loose en de raf' go a-hummin' down de river,

en leave you en de canoe behine in de fog?"

"What fog?"

"Why,

_de_ fog!

--de fog dat's been aroun' all night.

En didn't you whoop,

en didn't I whoop,

tell we got mix' up in de islands en one un us got los' en t'other one was jis' as good as los',

'kase he didn' know whah he wuz?

En didn't I bust up agin a lot er dem islands en have a turrible time en mos' git drownded?

Now ain' dat so,

boss --ain't it so?

You answer me dat."

"Well,

this is too many for me,

Jim.

I hain't seen no fog,

nor no islands,

nor no troubles,

nor nothing.

I been setting here talking with you all night till you went to sleep about ten minutes ago,

and I reckon I done the same.

You couldn't

'a' got drunk in that time,

so of course you've been dreaming."

"Dad fetch it,

how is I gwyne to dream all dat in ten minutes?"

"Well,

hang it all,

you did dream it,

because there didn't any of it happen."

"But,

Huck,

it's all jis' as plain to me as --"

"It don't make no difference how plain it is;

there ain't nothing in it.

I know,

because I've been here all the time."

Jim didn't say nothing for about five minutes,

but set there studying over it.

Then he says:

"Well,

den,

I reck'n I did dream it,

Huck;

but dog my cats ef it ain't de powerfulest dream I ever see.

En I hain't ever had no dream b'fo' dat's tired me like dis one."

"Oh,

well,

that's all right,

because a dream does tire a body like everything sometimes.

But this one was a staving dream;

tell me all about it,

Jim."

So Jim went to work and told me the whole thing right through,

just as it happened,

only he painted it up considerable.

Then he said he must start in and "'terpret" it,

because it was sent for a warning.

He said the first towhead stood for a man that would try to do us some good,

but the current was another man that would get us away from him.

The whoops was warnings that would come to us every now and then,

and if we didn't try hard to make out to understand them they'd just take us into bad luck,

'stead of keeping us out of it.

The lot of towheads was troubles we was going to get into with quarrelsome people and all kinds of mean folks,

but if we minded our business and didn't talk back and aggravate them,

we would pull through and get out of the fog and into the big clear river,

which was the free states,

and wouldn't have no more trouble.

It had clouded up pretty dark just after I got on to the raft,

but it was clearing up again now.

"Oh,

well,

that's all interpreted well enough as far as it goes,

Jim,"

I says;

"but what does _these_ things stand for?"

It was the leaves and rubbish on the raft and the smashed oar.

You could see them first-rate now.

Jim looked at the trash,

and then looked at me,

and back at the trash again.

He had got the dream fixed so strong in his head that he couldn't seem to shake it loose and get the facts back into its place again right away.

But when he did get the thing straightened around he looked at me steady without ever smiling,

and says:

"What do dey stan' for?

I's gwyne to tell you.

When I got all wore out wid work,

en wid de callin' for you,

en went to sleep,

my heart wuz mos' broke bekase you wuz los',

en I didn' k'yer no' mo' what become er me en de raf'.

En when I wake up en fine you back ag'in,

all safe en soun',

de tears come,

en I could

'a' got down on my knees en kiss yo' foot,

I's so thankful.

En all you wuz thinkin'

'bout wuz how you could make a fool uv ole Jim wid a lie.

Dat truck dah is _trash_;

en trash is what people is dat puts dirt on de head er dey fren's en makes

'em ashamed."

Then he got up slow and walked to the wigwam,

and went in there without saying anything but that.

But that was enough.

It made me feel so mean I could almost kissed _his_ foot to get him to take it back.

It was fifteen minutes before I could work myself up to go and humble myself to a nigger;

but I done it,

and I warn't ever sorry for it afterward,

neither.

I didn't do him no more mean tricks,

and I wouldn't done that one if I'd

'a' knowed it would make him feel that way.

CHAPTER XVI

We slept most all day,

and started out at night,

a little ways behind a monstrous long raft that was as long going by as a procession.

She had four long sweeps at each end,

so we judged she carried as many as thirty men,

likely.

She had five big wigwams aboard,

wide apart,

and an open camp-fire in the middle,

and a tall flag-pole at each end.

There was a power of style about her.

It _amounted_ to something being a raftsman on such a craft as that.

We went drifting down into a big bend,

and the night clouded up and got hot.

The river was very wide,

and was walled with solid timber on both sides;

you couldn't see a break in it hardly ever,

or a light.

We talked about Cairo,

and wondered whether we would know it when we got to it.

I said likely we wouldn't,

because I had heard say there warn't but about a dozen houses there,

and if they didn't happen to have them lit up,

how was we going to know we was passing a town?

Jim said if the two big rivers joined together there,

that would show.

But I said maybe we might think we was passing the foot of an island and coming into the same old river again.

That disturbed Jim --and me too.

So the question was,

what to do?

I said,

paddle ashore the first time a light showed,

and tell them pap was behind,

coming along with a trading-scow,

and was a green hand at the business,

and wanted to know how far it was to Cairo.

Jim thought it was a good idea,

so we took a smoke on it and waited.

There warn't nothing to do now but to look out sharp for the town,

and not pass it without seeing it.

He said he'd be mighty sure to see it,

because he'd be a free man the minute he seen it,

but if he missed it he'd be in a slave country again and no more show for freedom.

Every little while he jumps up and says:

"Dah she is?"

But it warn't.

It was Jack-o'-lanterns,

or lightning-bugs;

so he set down again,

and went to watching,

same as before.

Jim said it made him all over trembly and feverish to be so close to freedom.

Well,

I can tell you it made me all over trembly and feverish,

too,

to hear him,

because I begun to get it through my head that he _was_ most free --and who was to blame for it?

Why,

_me_.

I couldn't get that out of my conscience,

no how nor no way.

It got to troubling me so I couldn't rest;

I couldn't stay still in one place.

It hadn't ever come home to me before,

what this thing was that I was doing.

But now it did;

and it stayed with me,

and scorched me more and more.

I tried to make out to myself that _I_ warn't to blame,

because _I_ didn't run Jim off from his rightful owner;

but it warn't no use,

conscience up and says,

every time,

"But you knowed he was running for his freedom,

and you could

'a' paddled ashore and told somebody."

That was so --I couldn't get around that no way.

That was where it pinched.

Conscience says to me,

"What had poor Miss Watson done to you that you could see her nigger go off right under your eyes and never say one single word?

What did that poor old woman do to you that you could treat her so mean?

Why,

she tried to learn you your book,

she tried to learn you your manners,

she tried to be good to you every way she knowed how.

_That's_ what she done."

I got to feeling so mean and so miserable I most wished I was dead.

I fidgeted up and down the raft,

abusing myself to myself,

and Jim was fidgeting up and down past me.

We neither of us could keep still.

Every time he danced around and says,

"Dah's Cairo!"

it went through me like a shot,

and I thought if it _was_ Cairo I reckoned I would die of miserableness.

Jim talked out loud all the time while I was talking to myself.

He was saying how the first thing he would do when he got to a free state he would go to saving up money and never spend a single cent,

and when he got enough he would buy his wife,

which was owned on a farm close to where Miss Watson lived;

and then they would both work to buy the two children,

and if their master wouldn't sell them,

they'd get an Ab'litionist to go and steal them.

It most froze me to hear such talk.

He wouldn't ever dared to talk such talk in his life before.

Just see what a difference it made in him the minute he judged he was about free.

It was according to the old saying,

"Give a nigger an inch and he'll take an ell."

Thinks I,

this is what comes of my not thinking.

Here was this nigger,

which I had as good as helped to run away,

coming right out flat-footed and saying he would steal his children --children that belonged to a man I didn't even know;

a man that hadn't ever done me no harm.

I was sorry to hear Jim say that,

it was such a lowering of him.

My conscience got to stirring me up hotter than ever,

until at last I says to it,

"Let up on me --it ain't too late yet --I'll paddle ashore at the first light and tell."

I felt easy and happy and light as a feather right off.

All my troubles was gone.

I went to looking out sharp for a light,

and sort of singing to myself.

By and by one showed.

Jim sings out:

"We's safe,

Huck,

we's safe!

Jump up and crack yo' heels!

Dat's de good ole Cairo at las',

I jis knows it!"

I says:

"I'll take the canoe and go and see,

Jim.

It mightn't be,

you know."

He jumped and got the canoe ready,

and put his old coat in the bottom for me to set on,

and give me the paddle;

and as I shoved off,

he says:

"Pooty soon I'll be a-shout'n' for joy,

en I'll say,

it's all on accounts o' Huck;

I's a free man,

en I couldn't ever ben free ef it hadn' ben for Huck;

Huck done it.

Jim won't ever forgit you,

Huck;

you's de bes' fren' Jim's ever had;

en you's de _only_ fren' ole Jim's got now."

I was paddling off,

all in a sweat to tell on him;

but when he says this,

it seemed to kind of take the tuck all out of me.

I went along slow then,

and I warn't right down certain whether I was glad I started or whether I warn't.

When I was fifty yards off,

Jim says:

"Dah you goes,

de ole true Huck;

de on'y white genlman dat ever kep' his promise to ole Jim."

Well,

I just felt sick.

But I says,

I _got_ to do it --I can't get _out_ of it.

Right then along comes a skiff with two men in it with guns,

and they stopped and I stopped.

One of them says:

"What's that yonder?"

"A piece of a raft,"

I says.

"Do you belong on it?"

"Yes,

sir."

"Any men on it?"

"Only one,

sir."

"Well,

there's five niggers run off to-night up yonder,

above the head of the bend.

Is your man white or black?"

I didn't answer up prompt.

I tried to,

but the words wouldn't come.

I tried for a second or two to brace up and out with it,

but I warn't man enough --hadn't the spunk of a rabbit.

I see I was weakening;

so I just give up trying,

and up and says:

"He's white."

"I reckon we'll go and see for ourselves."

"I wish you would,"

says I,

"because it's pap that's there,

and maybe you'd help me tow the raft ashore where the light is.

He's sick --and so is mam and Mary Ann."

"Oh,

the devil!

we're in a hurry,

boy.

But I s'pose we've got to.

Come,

buckle to your paddle,

and let's get along."

I buckled to my paddle and they laid to their oars.

When we had made a stroke or two,

I says:

"Pap

'll be mighty much obleeged to you,

I can tell you.

Everybody goes away when I want them to help me tow the raft ashore,

and I can't do it by myself."

"Well,

that's infernal mean.

Odd,

too.

Say,

boy,

what's the matter with your father?"

"It's the --a --the --well,

it ain't anything much."

They stopped pulling.

It warn't but a mighty little ways to the raft now.

One says:

"Boy,

that's a lie.

What _is_ the matter with your pap?

Answer up square now,

and it

'll be the better for you."

"I will,

sir,

I will,

honest --but don't leave us,

please.

It's the --the --Gentlemen,

if you'll only pull ahead,

and let me heave you the headline,

you won't have to come a-near the raft --please do."

"Set her back,

John,

set her back!"

says one.

They backed water.

"Keep away,

boy --keep to looard.

Confound it,

I just expect the wind has blowed it to us.

Your pap's got the smallpox,

and you know it precious well.

Why didn't you come out and say so?

Do you want to spread it all over?"

"Well,"

says I,

a-blubbering,

"I've told everybody before,

and they just went away and left us."

"Poor devil,

there's something in that.

We are right down sorry for you,

but we --well,

hang it,

we don't want the smallpox,

you see.

Look here,

I'll tell you what to do.

Don't you try to land by yourself,

or you'll smash everything to pieces.

You float along down about twenty miles,

and you'll come to a town on the left-hand side of the river.

It will be long after sun-up then,

and when you ask for help you tell them your folks are all down with chills and fever.

Don't be a fool again,

and let people guess what is the matter.

Now we're trying to do you a kindness;

so you just put twenty miles between us,

that's a good boy.

It wouldn't do any good to land yonder where the light is --it's only a wood-yard.

Say,

I reckon your father's poor,

and I'm bound to say he's in pretty hard luck.

Here,

I'll put a twenty-dollar gold piece on this board,

and you get it when it floats by.

I feel mighty mean to leave you;

but my kingdom!

it won't do to fool with small-pox,

don't you see?"

"Hold on,

Parker,"

says the man,

"here's a twenty to put on the board for me.

Good-by,

boy;

you do as Mr. Parker told you,

and you'll be all right."

"That's so,

my boy --good-by,

good-bye.

If you see any runaway niggers you get help and nab them,

and you can make some money by it."

"Good-by,

sir,"

says I;

"I won't let no runaway niggers get by me if I can help it."

They went off and I got aboard the raft,

feeling bad and low,

because I knowed very well I had done wrong,

and I see it warn't no use for me to try to learn to do right;

a body that don't get _started_ right when he's little ain't got no show --when the pinch comes there ain't nothing to back him up and keep him to his work,

and so he gets beat.

Then I thought a minute,

and says to myself,

hold on;

s'pose you'd

'a' done right and give Jim up,

would you felt better than what you do now?

No,

says I,

I'd feel bad --I'd feel just the same way I do now.

Well,

then,

says I,

what's the use you learning to do right when it's troublesome to do right and ain't no trouble to do wrong,

and the wages is just the same?

I was stuck.

I couldn't answer that.

So I reckoned I wouldn't bother no more about it,

but after this always do whichever come handiest at the time.

I went into the wigwam;

Jim warn't there.

I looked all around;

he warn't anywhere.

I says:

"Jim!"

"Here I is,

Huck.

Is dey out o' sight yit?

Don't talk loud."

He was in the river under the stern oar,

with just his nose out.

I told him they were out of sight,

so he come aboard.

He says:

"I was a-listenin' to all de talk,

en I slips into de river en was gwyne to shove for sho' if dey come aboard.

Den I was gwyne to swim to de raf' agin when dey was gone.

But lawsy,

how you did fool

'em,

Huck!

Dat _wuz_ de smartes' dodge!

I tell you,

chile,

I

'spec it save' ole Jim --ole Jim ain't going to forgit you for dat,

honey."

Then we talked about the money.

It was a pretty good raise --twenty dollars apiece.

Jim said we could take deck passage on a steamboat now,

and the money would last us as far as we wanted to go in the free states.

He said twenty mile more warn't far for the raft to go,

but he wished we was already there.

Towards daybreak we tied up,

and Jim was mighty particular about hiding the raft good.

Then he worked all day fixing things in bundles,

and getting all ready to quit rafting.

That night about ten we hove in sight of the lights of a town away down in a left-hand bend.

I went off in the canoe to ask about it.

Pretty soon I found a man out in the river with a skiff,

setting a trot-line.

I ranged up and says:

"Mister,

is that town Cairo?"

"Cairo?

no.

You must be a blame' fool."

"What town is it,

mister?"

"If you want to know,

go and find out.

If you stay here botherin' around me for about a half a minute longer you'll get something you won't want."

I paddled to the raft.

Jim was awful disappointed,

but I said never mind,

Cairo would be the next place,

I reckoned.

We passed another town before daylight,

and I was going out again;

but it was high ground,

so I didn't go.

No high ground about Cairo,

Jim said.

I had forgot it.

We laid up for the day on a towhead tolerable close to the left-hand bank.

I begun to suspicion something.

So did Jim.

I says:

"Maybe we went by Cairo in the fog that night."

He says:

"Doan' le's talk about it,

Huck.

Po' niggers can't have no luck.

I awluz

'spected dat rattlesnake-skin warn't done wid its work."

"I wish I'd never seen that snake-skin,

Jim --I do wish I'd never laid eyes on it."

"It ain't yo' fault,

Huck;

you didn't know.

Don't you blame yo'self

'bout it."

When it was daylight,

here was the clear Ohio water inshore,

sure enough,

and outside was the old regular Muddy!

So it was all up with Cairo.

We talked it all over.

It wouldn't do to take to the shore;

we couldn't take the raft up the stream,

of course.

There warn't no way but to wait for dark,

and start back in the canoe and take the chances.

So we slept all day amongst the cottonwood thicket,

so as to be fresh for the work,

and when we went back to the raft about dark the canoe was gone!

We didn't say a word for a good while.

There warn't anything to say.

We both knowed well enough it was some more work of the rattlesnake-skin;

so what was the use to talk about it?

It would only look like we was finding fault,

and that would be bound to fetch more bad luck --and keep on fetching it,

too,

till we knowed enough to keep still.

By and by we talked about what we better do,

and found there warn't no way but just to go along down with the raft till we got a chance to buy a canoe to go back in.

We warn't going to borrow it when there warn't anybody around,

the way pap would do,

for that might set people after us.

So we shoved out after dark on the raft.

Anybody that don't believe yet that it's foolishness to handle a snake-skin,

after all that that snake-skin done for us,

will believe it now if they read on and see what more it done for us.

The place to buy canoes is off of rafts laying up at shore.

But we didn't see no rafts laying up;

so we went along during three hours and more.

Well,

the night got gray and ruther thick,

which is the next meanest thing to fog.

You can't tell the shape of the river,

and you can't see no distance.

It got to be very late and still,

and then along comes a steamboat up the river.

We lit the lantern,

and judged she would see it.

Up-stream boats didn't generly come close to us;

they go out and follow the bars and hunt for easy water under the reefs;

but nights like this they bull right up the channel against the whole river.

We could hear her pounding along,

but we didn't see her good till she was close.

She aimed right for us.

Often they do that and try to see how close they can come without touching;

sometimes the wheel bites off a sweep,

and then the pilot sticks his head out and laughs,

and thinks he's mighty smart.

Well,

here she comes,

and we said she was going to try and shave us;

but she didn't seem to be sheering off a bit.

She was a big one,

and she was coming in a hurry,

too,

looking like a black cloud with rows of glow-worms around it;

but all of a sudden she bulged out,

big and scary,

with a long row of wide-open furnace doors shining like red-hot teeth,

and her monstrous bows and guards hanging right over us.

There was a yell at us,

and a jingling of bells to stop the engines,

a powwow of cussing,

and whistling of steam --and as Jim went overboard on one side and I on the other,

she come smashing straight through the raft.

I dived --and I aimed to find the bottom,

too,

for a thirty-foot wheel had got to go over me,

and I wanted it to have plenty of room.

I could always stay under water a minute;

this time I reckon I stayed under a minute and a half.

Then I bounced for the top in a hurry,

for I was nearly busting.

I popped out to my armpits and blowed the water out of my nose,

and puffed a bit.

Of course there was a booming current;

and of course that boat started her engines again ten seconds after she stopped them,

for they never cared much for raftsmen;

so now she was churning along up the river,

out of sight in the thick weather,

though I could hear her.

I sung out for Jim about a dozen times,

but I didn't get any answer;

so I grabbed a plank that touched me while I was "treading water,"

and struck out for shore,

shoving it ahead of me.

But I made out to see that the drift of the current was towards the left-hand shore,

which meant that I was in a crossing;

so I changed off and went that way.

It was one of these long,

slanting,

two-mile crossings;

so I was a good long time in getting over.

I made a safe landing,

and clumb up the bank.

I couldn't see but a little ways,

but I went poking along over rough ground for a quarter of a mile or more,

and then I run across a big old-fashioned double log house before I noticed it.

I was going to rush by and get away,

but a lot of dogs jumped out and went to howling and barking at me,

and I knowed better than to move another peg.

CHAPTER XVII

In about a minute somebody spoke out of a window without putting his head out,

and says:

"Be done,

boys!

Who's there?"

I says:

"It's me."

"Who's me?"

"George Jackson,

sir."

"What do you want?"

"I don't want nothing,

sir.

I only want to go along by,

but the dogs won't let me."

"What are you prowling around here this time of night for --hey?"

"I warn't prowling around,

sir;

I fell overboard off of the steamboat."

"Oh,

you did,

did you?

Strike a light there,

somebody.

What did you say your name was?"

"George Jackson,

sir.

I'm only a boy."

"Look here,

if you're telling the truth you needn't be afraid --nobody

'll hurt you.

But don't try to budge;

stand right where you are.

Rouse out Bob and Tom,

some of you,

and fetch the guns.

George Jackson,

is there anybody with you?"

"No,

sir,

nobody."

I heard the people stirring around in the house now,

and see a light.

The man sung out:

"Snatch that light away,

Betsy,

you old fool --ain't you got any sense?

Put it on the floor behind the front door.

Bob,

if you and Tom are ready,

take your places."

"All ready."

"Now,

George Jackson,

do you know the Shepherdsons?"

"No,

sir;

I never heard of them."

"Well,

that may be so,

and it mayn't.

Now,

all ready.

Step forward,

George Jackson.

And mind,

don't you hurry --come mighty slow.

If there's anybody with you,

let him keep back --if he shows himself he'll be shot.

Come along now.

Come slow;

push the door open yourself --just enough to squeeze in,

d'you hear?"

I didn't hurry;

I couldn't if I'd a-wanted to.

I took one slow step at a time and there warn't a sound,

only I thought I could hear my heart.

The dogs were as still as the humans,

but they followed a little behind me.

When I got to the three log doorsteps I heard them unlocking and unbarring and unbolting.

I put my hand on the door and pushed it a little and a little more till somebody said,

"There,

that's enough --put your head in."

I done it,

but I judged they would take it off.

The candle was on the floor,

and there they all was,

looking at me,

and me at them,

for about a quarter of a minute: Three big men with guns pointed at me,

which made me wince,

I tell you;

the oldest,

gray and about sixty,

the other two thirty or more --all of them fine and handsome --and the sweetest old gray-headed lady,

and back of her two young women which I couldn't see right well.

The old gentleman says:

"There;

I reckon it's all right.

Come in."

As soon as I was in the old gentleman he locked the door and barred it and bolted it,

and told the young men to come in with their guns,

and they all went in a big parlor that had a new rag carpet on the floor,

and got together in a corner that was out of the range of the front windows --there warn't none on the side.

They held the candle,

and took a good look at me,

and all said,

"Why,

_he_ ain't a Shepherdson --no,

there ain't any Shepherdson about him."

Then the old man said he hoped I wouldn't mind being searched for arms,

because he didn't mean no harm by it --it was only to make sure.

So he didn't pry into my pockets,

but only felt outside with his hands,

and said it was all right.

He told me to make myself easy and at home,

and tell all about myself;

but the old lady says:

"Why,

bless you,

Saul,

the poor thing's as wet as he can be;

and don't you reckon it may be he's hungry?"

"True for you,

Rachel --I forgot."

So the old lady says:

"Betsy" (this was a nigger woman),

"you fly around and get him something to eat as quick as you can,

poor thing;

and one of you girls go and wake up Buck and tell him --oh,

here he is himself.

Buck,

take this little stranger and get the wet clothes off from him and dress him up in some of yours that's dry."

Buck looked about as old as me --thirteen or fourteen or along there,

though he was a little bigger than me.

He hadn't on anything but a shirt,

and he was very frowzy-headed.

He came in gaping and digging one fist into his eyes,

and he was dragging a gun along with the other one.

He says:

"Ain't they no Shepherdsons around?"

They said,

no,

'twas a false alarm.

"Well,"

he says,

"if they'd

'a' ben some,

I reckon I'd

'a' got one."

They all laughed,

and Bob says:

"Why,

Buck,

they might have scalped us all,

you've been so slow in coming."

"Well,

nobody come after me,

and it ain't right.

I'm always kept down;

I don't get no show."

"Never mind,

Buck,

my boy,"

says the old man,

"you'll have show enough,

all in good time,

don't you fret about that.

Go

'long with you now,

and do as your mother told you."

When we got up-stairs to his room he got me a coarse shirt and a roundabout and pants of his,

and I put them on.

While I was at it he asked me what my name was,

but before I could tell him he started to tell me about a bluejay and a young rabbit he had catched in the woods day before yesterday,

and he asked me where Moses was when the candle went out.

I said I didn't know;

I hadn't heard about it before,

no way.

"Well,

guess,"

he says.

"How'm I going to guess,"

says I,

"when I never heard tell of it before?"

"But you can guess,

can't you?

It's just as easy."

"_Which_ candle?"

I says.

"Why,

any candle,"

he says.

"I don't know where he was,"

says I;

"where was he?"

"Why,

he was in the _dark_!

That's where he was!"

"Well,

if you knowed where he was,

what did you ask me for?"

"Why,

blame it,

it's a riddle,

don't you see?

Say,

how long are you going to stay here?

You got to stay always.

We can just have booming times --they don't have no school now.

Do you own a dog?

I've got a dog --and he'll go in the river and bring out chips that you throw in.

Do you like to comb up Sundays,

and all that kind of foolishness?

You bet I don't,

but ma she makes me.

Confound these ole britches!

I reckon I'd better put

'em on,

but I'd ruther not,

it's so warm.

Are you all ready?

All right.

Come along,

old hoss."

Cold corn-pone,

cold corn-beef,

butter and buttermilk --that is what they had for me down there,

and there ain't nothing better that ever I've come across yet.

Buck and his ma and all of them smoked cob pipes,

except the nigger woman,

which was gone,

and the two young women.

They all smoked and talked,

and I eat and talked.

The young women had quilts around them,

and their hair down their backs.

They all asked me questions,

and I told them how pap and me and all the family was living on a little farm down at the bottom of Arkansaw,

and my sister Mary Ann run off and got married and never was heard of no more,

and Bill went to hunt them and he warn't heard of no more,

and Tom and Mort died,

and then there warn't nobody but just me and pap left,

and he was just trimmed down to nothing,

on account of his troubles;

so when he died I took what there was left,

because the farm didn't belong to us,

and started up the river,

deck passage,

and fell overboard;

and that was how I come to be here.

So they said I could have a home there as long as I wanted it.

Then it was most daylight and everybody went to bed,

and I went to bed with Buck,

and when I waked up in the morning,

drat it all,

I had forgot what my name was.

So I laid there about an hour trying to think,

and when Buck waked up I says:

"Can you spell,

Buck?"

"Yes,"

he says.

"I bet you can't spell my name,"

says I.

"I bet you what you dare I can,"

says he.

"All right,"

says I,

"go ahead."

"G-e-o-r-g-e J-a-x-o-n --there now,"

he says.

"Well,"

says I,

"you done it,

but I didn't think you could.

It ain't no slouch of a name to spell --right off without studying."

I set it down,

private,

because somebody might want _me_ to spell it next,

and so I wanted to be handy with it and rattle it off like I was used to it.

It was a mighty nice family,

and a mighty nice house,

too.

I hadn't seen no house out in the country before that was so nice and had so much style.

It didn't have an iron latch on the front door,

nor a wooden one with a buckskin string,

but a brass knob to turn,

the same as houses in town.

There warn't no bed in the parlor,

nor a sign of a bed;

but heaps of parlors in towns has beds in them.

There was a big fireplace that was bricked on the bottom,

and the bricks was kept clean and red by pouring water on them and scrubbing them with another brick;

sometimes they wash them over with red water-paint that they call Spanish-brown,

same as they do in town.

They had big brass dog-irons that could hold up a saw-log.

There was a clock on the middle of the mantelpiece,

with a picture of a town painted on the bottom half of the glass front,

and a round place in the middle of it for the sun,

and you could see the pendulum swinging behind it.

It was beautiful to hear that clock tick;

and sometimes when one of these peddlers had been along and scoured her up and got her in good shape,

she would start in and strike a hundred and fifty before she got tuckered out.

They wouldn't took any money for her.

Well,

there was a big outlandish parrot on each side of the clock,

made out of something like chalk,

and painted up gaudy.

By one of the parrots was a cat made of crockery,

and a crockery dog by the other;

and when you pressed down on them they squeaked,

but didn't open their mouths nor look different nor interested.

They squeaked through underneath.

There was a couple of big wild-turkey-wing fans spread out behind those things.

On the table in the middle of the room was a kind of a lovely crockery basket that had apples and oranges and peaches and grapes piled up in it,

which was much redder and yellower and prettier than real ones is,

but they warn't real because you could see where pieces had got chipped off and showed the white chalk,

or whatever it was,

underneath.

This table had a cover made out of beautiful oilcloth,

with a red and blue spread-eagle painted on it,

and a painted border all around.

It come all the way from Philadelphia,

they said.

There was some books,

too,

piled up perfectly exact,

on each corner of the table.

One was a big family Bible full of pictures.

One was Pilgrim's Progress,

about a man that left his family,

it didn't say why.

I read considerable in it now and then.

The statements was interesting,

but tough.

Another was Friendship's Offering,

full of beautiful stuff and poetry;

but I didn't read the poetry.

Another was Henry Clay's Speeches,

and another was Dr. Gunn's Family Medicine,

which told you all about what to do if a body was sick or dead.

There was a hymn-book,

and a lot of other books.

And there was nice split-bottom chairs,

and perfectly sound,

too --not bagged down in the middle and busted,

like an old basket.

They had pictures hung on the walls --mainly Washingtons and Lafayettes,

and battles,

and Highland Marys,

and one called "Signing the Declaration."

There was some that they called crayons,

which one of the daughters which was dead made her own self when she was only fifteen years old.

They was different from any pictures I ever see before --blacker,

mostly,

than is common.

One was a woman in a slim black dress,

belted small under the armpits,

with bulges like a cabbage in the middle of the sleeves,

and a large black scoop-shovel bonnet with a black veil,

and white slim ankles crossed about with black tape,

and very wee black slippers,

like a chisel,

and she was leaning pensive on a tombstone on her right elbow,

under a weeping willow,

and her other hand hanging down her side holding a white handkerchief and a reticule,

and underneath the picture it said "Shall I Never See Thee More Alas."

Another one was a young lady with her hair all combed up straight to the top of her head,

and knotted there in front of a comb like a chair-back,

and she was crying into a handkerchief and had a dead bird laying on its back in her other hand with its heels up,

and underneath the picture it said "I Shall Never Hear Thy Sweet Chirrup More Alas."

There was one where a young lady was at a window looking up at the moon,

and tears running down her cheeks;

and she had an open letter in one hand with black sealing-wax showing on one edge of it,

and she was mashing a locket with a chain to it against her mouth,

and underneath the picture it said "And Art Thou Gone Yes Thou Art Gone Alas."

These was all nice pictures,

I reckon,

but I didn't somehow seem to take to them,

because if ever I was down a little they always give me the fan-tods.

Everybody was sorry she died,

because she had laid out a lot more of these pictures to do,

and a body could see by what she had done what they had lost.

But I reckoned that with her disposition she was having a better time in the graveyard.

She was at work on what they said was her greatest picture when she took sick,

and every day and every night it was her prayer to be allowed to live till she got it done,

but she never got the chance.

It was a picture of a young woman in a long white gown,

standing on the rail of a bridge all ready to jump off,

with her hair all down her back,

and looking up to the moon,

with the tears running down her face,

and she had two arms folded across her breast,

and two arms stretched out in front,

and two more reaching up toward the moon --and the idea was to see which pair would look best,

and then scratch out all the other arms;

but,

as I was saying,

she died before she got her mind made up,

and now they kept this picture over the head of the bed in her room,

and every time her birthday come they hung flowers on it.

Other times it was hid with a little curtain.

The young woman in the picture had a kind of a nice sweet face,

but there was so many arms it made her look too spidery,

seemed to me.

This young girl kept a scrap-book when she was alive,

and used to paste obituaries and accidents and cases of patient suffering in it out of the Presbyterian Observer,

and write poetry after them out of her own head.

It was very good poetry.

This is what she wrote about a boy by the name of Stephen Dowling Bots that fell down a well and was drownded:

ODE TO STEPHEN DOWLING BOTS,

DEC'D

And did young Stephen sicken,

And did young Stephen die?

And did the sad hearts thicken,

And did the mourners cry?

No;

such was not the fate of Young Stephen Dowling Bots;

Though sad hearts round him thickened,

'Twas not from sickness' shots.

No whooping-cough did rack his frame,

Nor measles drear with spots;

Not these impaired the sacred name Of Stephen Dowling Bots.

Despised love struck not with woe That head of curly knots,

Nor stomach troubles laid him low,

Young Stephen Dowling Bots.

O no.

Then list with tearful eye,

Whilst I his fate do tell.

His soul did from this cold world fly By falling down a well.

They got him out and emptied him;

Alas it was too late;

His spirit was gone for to sport aloft In the realms of the good and great.

If Emmeline Grangerford could make poetry like that before she was fourteen,

there ain't no telling what she could

'a' done by and by.

Buck said she could rattle off poetry like nothing.

She didn't ever have to stop to think.

He said she would slap down a line,

and if she couldn't find anything to rhyme with it would just scratch it out and slap down another one,

and go ahead.

She warn't particular;

she could write about anything you choose to give her to write about just so it was sadful.

Every time a man died,

or a woman died,

or a child died,

she would be on hand with her "tribute" before he was cold.

She called them tributes.

The neighbors said it was the doctor first,

then Emmeline,

then the undertaker --the undertaker never got in ahead of Emmeline but once,

and then she hung fire on a rhyme for the dead person's name,

which was Whistler.

She warn't ever the same after that;

she never complained,

but she kinder pined away and did not live long.

Poor thing,

many's the time I made myself go up to the little room that used to be hers and get out her poor old scrap-book and read in it when her pictures had been aggravating me and I had soured on her a little.

I liked all that family,

dead ones and all,

and warn't going to let anything come between us.

Poor Emmeline made poetry about all the dead people when she was alive,

and it didn't seem right that there warn't nobody to make some about her now she was gone;

so I tried to sweat out a verse or two myself,

but I couldn't seem to make it go somehow.

They kept Emmeline's room trim and nice,

and all the things fixed in it just the way she liked to have them when she was alive,

and nobody ever slept there.

The old lady took care of the room herself,

though there was plenty of niggers,

and she sewed there a good deal and read her Bible there mostly.

Well,

as I was saying about the parlor,

there was beautiful curtains on the windows: white,

with pictures painted on them of castles with vines all down the walls,

and cattle coming down to drink.

There was a little old piano,

too,

that had tin pans in it,

I reckon,

and nothing was ever so lovely as to hear the young ladies sing "The Last Link is Broken" and play "The Battle of Prague" on it.

The walls of all the rooms was plastered,

and most had carpets on the floors,

and the whole house was whitewashed on the outside.

It was a double house,

and the big open place betwixt them was roofed and floored,

and sometimes the table was set there in the middle of the day,

and it was a cool,

comfortable place.

Nothing couldn't be better.

And warn't the cooking good,

and just bushels of it too!

CHAPTER XVIII

Col. Grangerford was a gentleman,

you see.

He was a gentleman all over;

and so was his family.

He was well born,

as the saying is,

and that's worth as much in a man as it is in a horse,

so the Widow Douglas said,

and nobody ever denied that she was of the first aristocracy in our town;

and pap he always said it,

too,

though he warn't no more quality than a mudcat himself.

Col. Grangerford was very tall and very slim,

and had a darkish-paly complexion,

not a sign of red in it anywheres;

he was clean-shaved every morning all over his thin face,

and he had the thinnest kind of lips,

and the thinnest kind of nostrils,

and a high nose,

and heavy eyebrows,

and the blackest kind of eyes,

sunk so deep back that they seemed like they was looking out of caverns at you,

as you may say.

His forehead was high,

and his hair was gray and straight and hung to his shoulders.

His hands was long and thin,

and every day of his life he put on a clean shirt and a full suit from head to foot made out of linen so white it hurt your eyes to look at it;

and on Sundays he wore a blue tail-coat with brass buttons on it.

He carried a mahogany cane with a silver head to it.

There warn't no frivolishness about him,

not a bit,

and he warn't ever loud.

He was as kind as he could be --you could feel that,

you know,

and so you had confidence.

Sometimes he smiled,

and it was good to see;

but when he straightened himself up like a liberty-pole,

and the lightning begun to flicker out from under his eyebrows,

you wanted to climb a tree first,

and find out what the matter was afterwards.

He didn't ever have to tell anybody to mind their manners --everybody was always good-mannered where he was.

Everybody loved to have him around,

too;

he was sunshine most always --I mean he made it seem like good weather.

When he turned into a cloud-bank it was awful dark for half a minute,

and that was enough;

there wouldn't nothing go wrong again for a week.

When him and the old lady come down in the morning all the family got up out of their chairs and give them good day,

and didn't set down again till they had set down.

Then Tom and Bob went to the sideboard where the decanter was,

and mixed a glass of bitters and handed it to him,

and he held it in his hand and waited till Tom's and Bob's was mixed,

and then they bowed and said,

"Our duty to you,

sir,

and madam";

and _they_ bowed the least bit in the world and said thank you,

and so they drank,

all three,

and Bob and Tom poured a spoonful of water on the sugar and the mite of whisky or apple-brandy in the bottom of their tumblers,

and give it to me and Buck,

and we drank to the old people too.

Bob was the oldest and Tom next --tall,

beautiful men with very broad shoulders and brown faces,

and long black hair and black eyes.

They dressed in white linen from head to foot,

like the old gentleman,

and wore broad Panama hats.

Then there was Miss Charlotte;

she was twenty-five,

and tall and proud and grand,

but as good as she could be when she warn't stirred up;

but when she was she had a look that would make you wilt in your tracks,

like her father.

She was beautiful.

So was her sister,

Miss Sophia,

but it was a different kind.

She was gentle and sweet like a dove,

and she was only twenty.

Each person had their own nigger to wait on them --Buck too.

My nigger had a monstrous easy time,

because I warn't used to having anybody do anything for me,

but Buck's was on the jump most of the time.

This was all there was of the family now,

but there used to be more --three sons;

they got killed;

and Emmeline that died.

The old gentleman owned a lot of farms and over a hundred niggers.

Sometimes a stack of people would come there,

horseback,

from ten or fifteen mile around,

and stay five or six days,

and have such junketings round about and on the river,

and dances and picnics in the woods daytimes,

and balls at the house nights.

These people was mostly kinfolks of the family.

The men brought their guns with them.

It was a handsome lot of quality,

I tell you.

There was another clan of aristocracy around there --five or six families --mostly of the name of Shepherdson.

They was as high-toned and well born and rich and grand as the tribe of Grangerfords.

The Shepherdsons and Grangerfords used the same steamboat-landing,

which was about two mile above our house;

so sometimes when I went up there with a lot of our folks I used to see a lot of the Shepherdsons there on their fine horses.

One day Buck and me was away out in the woods hunting,

and heard a horse coming.

We was crossing the road.

Buck says:

"Quick!

Jump for the woods!"

We done it,

and then peeped down the woods through the leaves.

Pretty soon a splendid young man came galloping down the road,

setting his horse easy and looking like a soldier.

He had his gun across his pommel.

I had seen him before.

It was young Harney Shepherdson.

I heard Buck's gun go off at my ear,

and Harney's hat tumbled off from his head.

He grabbed his gun and rode straight to the place where we was hid.

But we didn't wait.

We started through the woods on a run.

The woods warn't thick,

so I looked over my shoulder to dodge the bullet,

and twice I seen Harney cover Buck with his gun;

and then he rode away the way he come --to get his hat,

I reckon,

but I couldn't see.

We never stopped running till we got home.

The old gentleman's eyes blazed a minute --'twas pleasure,

mainly,

I judged --then his face sort of smoothed down,

and he says,

kind of gentle:

"I don't like that shooting from behind a bush.

Why didn't you step into the road,

my boy?"

"The Shepherdsons don't,

father.

They always take advantage."

Miss Charlotte she held her head up like a queen while Buck was telling his tale,

and her nostrils spread and her eyes snapped.

The two young men looked dark,

but never said nothing.

Miss Sophia she turned pale,

but the color come back when she found the man warn't hurt.

Soon as I could get Buck down by the corn-cribs under the trees by ourselves,

I says:

"Did you want to kill him,

Buck?"

"Well,

I bet I did."

"What did he do to you?"

"Him?

He never done nothing to me."

"Well,

then,

what did you want to kill him for?"

"Why,

nothing --only it's on account of the feud."

"What's a feud?"

"Why,

where was you raised?

Don't you know what a feud is?"

"Never heard of it before --tell me about it."

"Well,"

says Buck,

"a feud is this way: A man has a quarrel with another man,

and kills him;

then that other man's brother kills _him_;

then the other brothers,

on both sides,

goes for one another;

then the _cousins_ chip in --and by and by everybody's killed off,

and there ain't no more feud.

But it's kind of slow,

and takes a long time."

"Has this one been going on long,

Buck?"

"Well,

I should _reckon!_ It started thirty year ago,

or som'ers along there.

There was trouble

'bout something,

and then a lawsuit to settle it;

and the suit went agin one of the men,

and so he up and shot the man that won the suit --which he would naturally do,

of course.

Anybody would."

"What was the trouble about.

Buck?

--land?"

"I reckon maybe --I don't know."

"Well,

who done the shooting?

Was it a Grangerford Shepherdson?"

"Laws,

how do I know?

It was so long ago."

"Don't anybody know?"

"Oh,

yes,

pa knows,

I reckon,

and some of the other old people;

but they don't know now what the row was about in the first place."

"Has there been many killed,

Buck?"

"Yes;

right smart chance of funerals.

But they don't always kill.

Pa's got a few buckshot in him;

but he don't mind it

'cuz he don't weigh much,

anyway.

Bob's been carved up some with a bowie,

and Tom's been hurt once or twice."

"Has anybody been killed this year,

Buck?"

"Yes;

we got one and they got one.

'Bout three months ago my cousin Bud,

fourteen year old,

was riding through the woods on t'other side of the river,

and didn't have no weapon with him,

which was blame' foolishness,

and in a lonesome place he hears a horse a-coming behind him,

and sees old Baldy Shepherdson a-linkin' after him with his gun in his hand and his white hair a-flying in the wind;

and

'stead of jumping off and taking to the brush,

Bud

'lowed he could outrun him;

so they had it,

nip and tuck,

for five mile or more,

the old man a-gaining all the time;

so at last Bud seen it warn't any use,

so he stopped and faced around so as to have the bullet-holes in front,

you know,

and the old man he rode up and shot him down.

But he didn't git much chance to enjoy his luck,

for inside of a week our folks laid _him_ out."

"I reckon that old man was a coward,

Buck."

"I reckon he _warn't_ a coward.

Not by a blame' sight.

There ain't a coward amongst them Shepherdsons --not a one.

And there ain't no cowards amongst the Grangerfords either.

Why,

that old man kep' up his end in a fight one day for half an hour against three Grangerfords,

and come out winner.

They was all a-horseback;

he lit off of his horse and got behind a little woodpile,

and kep' his horse before him to stop the bullets;

but the Grangerfords stayed on their horses and capered around the old man,

and peppered away at him,

and he peppered away at them.

Him and his horse both went home pretty leaky and crippled,

but the Grangerfords had to be _fetched_ home --and one of

'em was dead,

and another died the next day.

No,

sir;

if a body's out hunting for cowards he don't want to fool away any time amongst them Shepherdsons,

becuz they don't breed any of that _kind_."

Next Sunday we all went to church,

about three mile,

everybody a-horseback.

The men took their guns along,

so did Buck,

and kept them between their knees or stood them handy against the wall.

The Shepherdsons done the same.

It was pretty ornery preaching --all about brotherly love,

and such-like tiresomeness;

but everybody said it was a good sermon,

and they all talked it over going home,

and had such a powerful lot to say about faith and good works and free grace and preforeordestination,

and I don't know what all,

that it did seem to me to be one of the roughest Sundays I had run across yet.

About an hour after dinner everybody was dozing around,

some in their chairs and some in their rooms,

and it got to be pretty dull.

Buck and a dog was stretched out on the grass in the sun sound asleep.

I went up to our room,

and judged I would take a nap myself.

I found that sweet Miss Sophia standing in her door,

which was next to ours,

and she took me in her room and shut the door very soft,

and asked me if I liked her,

and I said I did;

and she asked me if I would do something for her and not tell anybody,

and I said I would.

Then she said she'd forgot her Testament,

and left it in the seat at church between two other books,

and would I slip out quiet and go there and fetch it to her,

and not say nothing to nobody.

I said I would.

So I slid out and slipped off up the road,

and there warn't anybody at the church,

except maybe a hog or two,

for there warn't any lock on the door,

and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool.

If you notice,

most folks don't go to church only when they've got to;

but a hog is different.

Says I to myself,

something's up;

it ain't natural for a girl to be in such a sweat about a Testament.

So I give it a shake,

and out drops a little piece of paper with "_Half past two_" wrote on it with a pencil.

I ransacked it,

but couldn't find anything else.

I couldn't make anything out of that,

so I put the paper in the book again,

and when I got home and upstairs there was Miss Sophia in her door waiting for me.

She pulled me in and shut the door;

then she looked in the Testament till she found the paper,

and as soon as she read it she looked glad;

and before a body could think she grabbed me and give me a squeeze,

and said I was the best boy in the world,

and not to tell anybody.

She was mighty red in the face for a minute,

and her eyes lighted up,

and it made her powerful pretty.

I was a good deal astonished,

but when I got my breath I asked her what the paper was about,

and she asked me if I had read it,

and I said no,

and she asked me if I could read writing,

and I told her "no,

only coarse-hand,"

and then she said the paper warn't anything but a book-mark to keep her place,

and I might go and play now.

I went off down to the river,

studying over this thing,

and pretty soon I noticed that my nigger was following along behind.

When we was out of sight of the house he looked back and around a second,

and then comes a-running,

and says:

"Mars Jawge,

if you'll come down into de swamp I'll show you a whole stack o' water-moccasins."

Thinks I,

that's mighty curious;

he said that yesterday.

He oughter know a body don't love water-moccasins enough to go around hunting for them.

What is he up to,

anyway?

So I says:

"All right;

trot ahead."

I followed a half a mile;

then he struck out over the swamp,

and waded ankle-deep as much as another half-mile.

We come to a little flat piece of land which was dry and very thick with trees and bushes and vines,

and he says:

"You shove right in dah jist a few steps,

Mars Jawge;

dah's whah dey is.

I's seed

'm befo';

I don't k'yer to see

'em no mo'."

Then he slopped right along and went away,

and pretty soon the trees hid him.

I poked into the place a-ways and come to a little open patch as big as a bedroom all hung around with vines,

and found a man laying there asleep --and,

by jings,

it was my old Jim!

I waked him up,

and I reckoned it was going to be a grand surprise to him to see me again,

but it warn't.

He nearly cried he was so glad,

but he warn't surprised.

Said he swum along behind me that night,

and heard me yell every time,

but dasn't answer,

because he didn't want nobody to pick _him_ up and take him into slavery again.

Says he:

"I got hurt a little,

en couldn't swim fas',

so I wuz a considerable ways behine you towards de las';

when you landed I reck'ned I could ketch up wid you on de lan'

'dout havin' to shout at you,

but when I see dat house I begin to go slow.

I

'uz off too fur to hear what dey say to you --I wuz

'fraid o' de dogs;

but when it

'uz all quiet ag'in I knowed you's in de house,

so I struck out for de woods to wait for day.

Early in de mawnin' some er de niggers come along,

gwyne to de fields,

en dey tuk me en showed me dis place,

whah de dogs can't track me on accounts o' de water,

en dey brings me truck to eat every night,

en tells me how you's a-gittin' along."

"Why didn't you tell my Jack to fetch me here sooner,

Jim?"

"Well,

'twarn't no use to

'sturb you,

Huck,

tell we could do sumfn --but we's all right now.

I ben a-buyin' pots en pans en vittles,

as I got a chanst,

en a-patchin' up de raf' nights when --"

"_What_ raft,

Jim?"

"Our ole raf'."

"You mean to say our old raft warn't smashed all to flinders?"

"No,

she warn't.

She was tore up a good deal --one en' of her was;

but dey warn't no great harm done,

on'y our traps was mos' all los'.

Ef we hadn' dive' so deep en swum so fur under water,

en de night hadn't ben so dark,

en we warn't so sk'yerd,

en ben sich punkin-heads,

as de sayin' is,

we'd a seed de raf'.

But it's jis' as well we didn't,

'kase now she's all fixed up ag'in mos' as good as new,

en we's got a new lot o' stuff,

in de place o' what

'uz los'."

"Why,

how did you get hold of the raft again,

Jim --did you catch her?"

"How I gwyne to ketch her en I out in de woods?

No;

some er de niggers foun' her ketched on a snag along heah in de ben',

en dey hid her in a crick

'mongst de willows,

en dey wuz so much jawin'

'bout which un

'um she b'long to de mos' dat I come to heah

'bout it pooty soon,

so I ups en settles de trouble by tellin'

'um she don't b'long to none uv

'um,

but to you en me;

en I ast

'm if dey gwyne to grab a young white genlman's propaty,

en git a hid'n for it?

Den I gin

'm ten cents apiece,

en dey

'uz mighty well satisfied,

en wisht some mo' raf's

'ud come along en make

'm rich ag'in.

Dey's mighty good to me,

dese niggers is,

en whatever I wants

'm to do fur me I doan' have to ast

'm twice,

honey.

Dat Jack's a good nigger,

en pooty smart."

"Yes,

he is.

He ain't ever told me you was here;

told me to come,

and he'd show me a lot of water-moccasins.

If anything happens _he_ ain't mixed up in it.

He can say he never seen us together,

and it

'll be the truth."

I don't want to talk much about the next day.

I reckon I'll cut it pretty short.

I waked up about dawn,

and was a-going to turn over and go to sleep again when I noticed how still it was --didn't seem to be anybody stirring.

That warn't usual.

Next I noticed that Buck was up and gone.

Well,

I gets up,

a-wondering,

and goes down-stairs --nobody around;

everything as still as a mouse.

Just the same outside.

Thinks I,

what does it mean?

Down by the woodpile I comes across my Jack,

and says:

"What's it all about?"

Says he:

"Don't you know,

Mars Jawge?"

"No,"

says I,

"I don't."

"Well,

den,

Miss Sophia's run off!

'deed she has.

She run off in de night some time --nobody don't know jis' when;

run off to get married to dat young Harney Shepherdson,

you know --leastways,

so dey

'spec.

De fambly foun' it out

'bout half an hour ago --maybe a little mo' --en' I _tell_ you dey warn't no time los'.

Sich another hurryin' up guns en hosses _you_ never see!

De women folks has gone for to stir up de relations,

en ole Mars Saul en de boys tuck dey guns en rode up de river road for to try to ketch dat young man en kill him

'fo' he kin git acrost de river wid Miss Sophia.

I reck'n dey's gwyne to be mighty rough times."

"Buck went off

'thout waking me up."

"Well,

I reck'n he _did!_ Dey warn't gwyne to mix you up in it.

Mars Buck he loaded up his gun en

'lowed he's gwyne to fetch home a Shepherdson or bust.

Well,

dey'll be plenty un

'm dah,

I reck'n,

en you bet you he'll fetch one ef he gits a chanst."

I took up the river road as hard as I could put.

By and by I begin to hear guns a good ways off.

When I came in sight of the log store and the woodpile where the steamboats lands I worked along under the trees and brush till I got to a good place,

and then I clumb up into the forks of a cottonwood that was out of reach,

and watched.

There was a wood-rank four foot high a little ways in front of the tree,

and first I was going to hide behind that;

but maybe it was luckier I didn't.

There was four or five men cavorting around on their horses in the open place before the log store,

cussing and yelling,

and trying to get at a couple of young chaps that was behind the wood-rank alongside of the steamboat-landing;

but they couldn't come it.

Every time one of them showed himself on the river side of the woodpile he got shot at.

The two boys was squatting back to back behind the pile,

so they could watch both ways.

By and by the men stopped cavorting around and yelling.

They started riding towards the store;

then up gets one of the boys,

draws a steady bead over the wood-rank,

and drops one of them out of his saddle.

All the men jumped off of their horses and grabbed the hurt one and started to carry him to the store;

and that minute the two boys started on the run.

They got half-way to the tree I was in before the men noticed.

Then the men see them,

and jumped on their horses and took out after them.

They gained on the boys,

but it didn't do no good,

the boys had too good a start;

they got to the woodpile that was in front of my tree,

and slipped in behind it,

and so they had the bulge on the men again.

One of the boys was Buck,

and the other was a slim young chap about nineteen years old.

The men ripped around awhile,

and then rode away.

As soon as they was out of sight I sung out to Buck and told him.

He didn't know what to make of my voice coming out of the tree at first.

He was awful surprised.

He told me to watch out sharp and let him know when the men come in sight again;

said they was up to some devilment or other --wouldn't be gone long.

I wished I was out of that tree,

but I dasn't come down.

Buck begun to cry and rip,

and

'lowed that him and his cousin Joe (that was the other young chap) would make up for this day yet.

He said his father and his two brothers was killed,

and two or three of the enemy.

Said the Shepherdsons laid for them in ambush.

Buck said his father and brothers ought to waited for their relations --the Shepherdsons was too strong for them.

I asked him what was become of young Harney and Miss Sophia.

He said they'd got across the river and was safe.

I was glad of that;

but the way Buck did take on because he didn't manage to kill Harney that day he shot at him --I hain't ever heard anything like it.

All of a sudden,

bang!

bang!

bang!

goes three or four guns --the men had slipped around through the woods and come in from behind without their horses!

The boys jumped for the river --both of them hurt --and as they swum down the current the men run along the bank shooting at them and singing out,

"Kill them,

kill them!"

It made me so sick I most fell out of the tree.

I ain't a-going to tell _all_ that happened --it would make me sick again if I was to do that.

I wished I hadn't ever come ashore that night to see such things.

I ain't ever going to get shut of them --lots of times I dream about them.

I stayed in the tree till it begun to get dark,

afraid to come down.

Sometimes I heard guns away off in the woods;

and twice I seen little gangs of men gallop past the log store with guns;

so I reckoned the trouble was still a-going on.

I was mighty downhearted;

so I made up my mind I wouldn't ever go anear that house again,

because I reckoned I was to blame,

somehow.

I judged that that piece of paper meant that Miss Sophia was to meet Harney somewheres at half past two and run off;

and I judged I ought to told her father about that paper and the curious way she acted,

and then maybe he would

'a' locked her up,

and this awful mess wouldn't ever happened.

When I got down out of the tree I crept along down the river-bank a piece,

and found the two bodies laying in the edge of the water,

and tugged at them till I got them ashore;

then I covered up their faces,

and got away as quick as I could.

I cried a little when I was covering up Buck's face,

for he was mighty good to me.

It was just dark now.

I never went near the house,

but struck through the woods and made for the swamp.

Jim warn't on his island,

so I tramped off in a hurry for the crick,

and crowded through the willows,

red-hot to jump aboard and get out of that awful country.

The raft was gone!

My souls,

but I was scared!

I couldn't get my breath for most a minute.

Then I raised a yell.

A voice not twenty-five foot from me says:

"Good lan'!

is dat you,

honey?

Doan' make no noise."

It was Jim's voice --nothing ever sounded so good before.

I run along the bank a piece and got aboard,

and Jim he grabbed me and hugged me,

he was so glad to see me.

He says:

"Laws bless you,

chile,

I

'uz right down sho' you's dead ag'in.

Jack's been heah;

he say he reck'n you's ben shot,

kase you didn' come home no mo';

so I's jes' dis minute a-startin' startin' de raf' down towards de mouf er de crick,

so's to be all ready for to shove out en leave soon as Jack comes ag'in en tells me for certain you _is_ dead.

Lawsy,

I's mighty glad to git you back ag'in,

honey."

I says:

"All right --that's mighty good;

they won't find me,

and they'll think I've been killed,

and floated down the river --there's something up there that

'll help them think so --so don't you lose no time,

Jim,

but just shove off for the big water as fast as ever you can."

I never felt easy till the raft was two mile below there and out in the middle of the Mississippi.

Then we hung up our signal lantern,

and judged that we was free and safe once more.

I hadn't had a bite to eat since yesterday,

so Jim he got out some corn-dodgers and buttermilk,

and pork and cabbage and greens --there ain't nothing in the world so good when it's cooked right --and whilst I eat my supper we talked and had a good time.

I was powerful glad to get away from the feuds,

and so was Jim to get away from the swamp.

We said there warn't no home like a raft,

after all.

Other places do seem so cramped up and smothery,

but a raft don't.

You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft.

CHAPTER XIX

Two or three days and nights went by;

I reckon I might say they swum by,

they slid along so quiet and smooth and lovely.

Here is the way we put in the time.

It was a monstrous big river down there --sometimes a mile and a half wide;

we run nights,

and laid up and hid daytimes;

soon as night was most gone we stopped navigating and tied up --nearly always in the dead water under a towhead;

and then cut young cottonwoods and willows,

and hid the raft with them.

Then we set out the lines.

Next we slid into the river and had a swim,

so as to freshen up and cool off;

then we set down on the sandy bottom where the water was about knee-deep,

and watched the daylight come.

Not a sound anywheres --perfectly still --just like the whole world was asleep,

only sometimes the bullfrogs a-cluttering,

maybe.

The first thing to see,

looking away over the water,

was a kind of dull line --that was the woods on t'other side;

you couldn't make nothing else out;

then a pale place in the sky;

then more paleness spreading around;

then the river softened up away off,

and warn't black any more,

but gray;

you could see little dark spots drifting along ever so far away --trading-scows,

and such things;

and long black streaks --rafts;

sometimes you could hear a sweep screaking;

or jumbled-up voices,

it was so still,

and sounds come so far;

and by and by you could see a streak on the water which you know by the look of the streak that there's a snag there in a swift current which breaks on it and makes that streak look that way;

and you see the mist curl up off of the water,

and the east reddens up,

and the river,

and you make out a log cabin in the edge of the woods,

away on the bank on t'other side of the river,

being a wood-yard,

likely,

and piled by them cheats so you can throw a dog through it anywheres;

then the nice breeze springs up,

and comes fanning you from over there,

so cool and fresh and sweet to smell on account of the woods and the flowers;

but sometimes not that way,

because they've left dead fish laying around,

gars and such,

and they do get pretty rank;

and next you've got the full day,

and everything smiling in the sun,

and the song-birds just going it!

A little smoke couldn't be noticed now,

so we would take some fish off of the lines and cook up a hot breakfast.

And afterwards we would watch the lonesomeness of the river,

and kind of lazy along,

and by and by lazy off to sleep.

Wake up by and by,

and look to see what done it,

and maybe see a steamboat coughing along up-stream,

so far off towards the other side you couldn't tell nothing about her only whether she was a stern-wheel or side-wheel;

then for about an hour there wouldn't be nothing to hear nor nothing to see --just solid lonesomeness.

Next you'd see a raft sliding by,

away off yonder,

and maybe a galoot on it chopping,

because they're most always doing it on a raft;

you'd see the ax flash and come down --you don't hear nothing;

you see that ax go up again,

and by the time it's above the man's head then you hear the _k'chunk!_ --it had took all that time to come over the water.

So we would put in the day,

lazying around,

listening to the stillness.

Once there was a thick fog,

and the rafts and things that went by was beating tin pans so the steamboats wouldn't run over them.

A scow or a raft went by so close we could hear them talking and cussing and laughing --heard them plain;

but we couldn't see no sign of them;

it made you feel crawly;

it was like spirits carrying on that way in the air.

Jim said he believed it was spirits;

but I says:

"No;

spirits wouldn't say,

'Dern the dern fog.'"

Soon as it was night out we shoved;

when we got her out to about the middle we let her alone,

and let her float wherever the current wanted her to;

then we lit the pipes,

and dangled our legs in the water,

and talked about all kinds of things --we was always naked,

day and night,

whenever the mosquitoes would let us --the new clothes Buck's folks made for me was too good to be comfortable,

and besides I didn't go much on clothes,

nohow.

Sometimes we'd have that whole river all to ourselves for the longest time.

Yonder was the banks and the islands,

across the water;

and maybe a spark --which was a candle in a cabin window;

and sometimes on the water you could see a spark or two --on a raft or a scow,

you know;

and maybe you could hear a fiddle or a song coming over from one of them crafts.

It's lovely to live on a raft.

We had the sky up there,

all speckled with stars,

and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them,

and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.

Jim he allowed they was made,

but I allowed they happened;

I judged it would have took too long to _make_ so many.

Jim said the moon could

'a' _laid_ them;

well,

that looked kind of reasonable,

so I didn't say nothing against it,

because I've seen a frog lay most as many,

so of course it could be done.

We used to watch the stars that fell,

too,

and see them streak down.

Jim allowed they'd got spoiled and was hove out of the nest.

Once or twice of a night we would see a steamboat slipping along in the dark,

and now and then she would belch a whole world of sparks up out of her chimbleys,

and they would rain down in the river and look awful pretty;

then she would turn a corner and her lights would wink out and her powwow shut off and leave the river still again;

and by and by her waves would get to us,

a long time after she was gone,

and joggle the raft a bit,

and after that you wouldn't hear nothing for you couldn't tell how long,

except maybe frogs or something.

After midnight the people on shore went to bed,

and then for two or three hours the shores was black --no more sparks in the cabin windows.

These sparks was our clock --the first one that showed again meant morning was coming,

so we hunted a place to hide and tie up right away.

One morning about daybreak I found a canoe and crossed over a chute to the main shore --it was only two hundred yards --and paddled about a mile up a crick amongst the cypress woods,

to see if I couldn't get some berries.

Just as I was passing a place where a kind of a cowpath crossed the crick,

here comes a couple of men tearing up the path as tight as they could foot it.

I thought I was a goner,

for whenever anybody was after anybody I judged it was _me_ --or maybe Jim.

I was about to dig out from there in a hurry,

but they was pretty close to me then,

and sung out and begged me to save their lives --said they hadn't been doing nothing,

and was being chased for it --said there was men and dogs a-coming.

They wanted to jump right in,

but I says:

"Don't you do it.

I don't hear the dogs and horses yet;

you've got time to crowd through the brush and get up the crick a little ways;

then you take to the water and wade down to me and get in --that

'll throw the dogs off the scent."

They done it,

and soon as they was aboard I lit out for our towhead,

and in about five or ten minutes we heard the dogs and the men away off,

shouting.

We heard them come along towards the crick,

but couldn't see them;

they seemed to stop and fool around awhile;

then,

as we got further and further away all the time,

we couldn't hardly hear them at all;

by the time we had left a mile of woods behind us and struck the river,

everything was quiet,

and we paddled over to the towhead and hid in the cottonwoods and was safe.

One of these fellows was about seventy or upwards,

and had a bald head and very gray whiskers.

He had an old battered-up slouch hat on,

and a greasy blue woolen shirt,

and ragged old blue jeans britches stuffed into his boot-tops,

and home-knit galluses --no,

he only had one.

He had an old long-tailed blue jeans coat with slick brass buttons flung over his arm,

and both of them had big,

fat,

ratty-looking carpet-bags.

The other fellow was about thirty,

and dressed about as ornery.

After breakfast we all laid off and talked,

and the first thing that come out was that these chaps didn't know one another.

"What got you into trouble?"

says the baldhead to t'other chap.

"Well,

I'd been selling an article to take the tartar off the teeth --and it does take it off,

too,

and generly the enamel along with it --but I stayed about one night longer than I ought to,

and was just in the act of sliding out when I ran across you on the trail this side of town,

and you told me they were coming,

and begged me to help you to get off.

So I told you I was expecting trouble myself,

and would scatter out _with_ you.

That's the whole yarn --what's yourn?"

"Well,

I'd ben a-runnin' a little temperance revival thar

'bout a week,

and was the pet of the women folks,

big and little,

for I was makin' it mighty warm for the rummies,

I _tell_ you,

and takin' as much as five or six dollars a night --ten cents a head,

children and niggers free --and business a-growin' all the time,

when somehow or another a little report got around last night that I had a way of puttin' in my time with a private jug on the sly.

A nigger rousted me out this mornin',

and told me the people was getherin' on the quiet with their dogs and horses,

and they'd be along pretty soon and give me

'bout half an hour's start,

and then run me down if they could;

and if they got me they'd tar and feather me and ride me on a rail,

sure.

I didn't wait for no breakfast --I warn't hungry."

"Old man,"

said the young one,

"I reckon we might double-team it together;

what do you think?"

"I ain't undisposed.

What's your line --mainly?"

"Jour printer by trade;

do a little in patent medicines;

theater-actor --tragedy,

you know;

take a turn to mesmerism and phrenology when there's a chance;

teach singing-geography school for a change;

sling a lecture sometimes --oh,

I do lots of things --most anything that comes handy,

so it ain't work.

What's your lay?"

"I've done considerble in the doctoring way in my time.

Layin' on o' hands is my best holt --for cancer and paralysis,

and sich things;

and I k'n tell a fortune pretty good when I've got somebody along to find out the facts for me.

Preachin's my line,

too,

and workin' camp-meetin's,

and missionaryin' around."

Nobody never said anything for a while;

then the young man hove a sigh and says:

"Alas!"

"What

're you alassin' about?"

says the baldhead.

"To think I should have lived to be leading such a life,

and be degraded down into such company."

And he begun to wipe the corner of his eye with a rag.

"Dern your skin,

ain't the company good enough for you?"

says the baldhead,

pretty pert and uppish.

"Yes,

it _is_ good enough for me;

it's as good as I deserve;

for who fetched me so low when I was so high?

I did myself.

I don't blame _you_,

gentlemen --far from it;

I don't blame anybody.

I deserve it all.

Let the cold world do its worst;

one thing I know --there's a grave somewhere for me.

The world may go on just as it's always done,

and take everything from me --loved ones,

property,

everything;

but it can't take that.

Some day I'll lie down in it and forget it all,

and my poor broken heart will be at rest."

He went on a-wiping.

"Drot your pore broken heart,"

says the baldhead;

"what are you heaving your pore broken heart at _us_ f'r?

_We_ hain't done nothing."

"No,

I know you haven't.

I ain't blaming you,

gentlemen.

I brought myself down --yes,

I did it myself.

It's right I should suffer --perfectly right --I don't make any moan."

"Brought you down from whar?

Whar was you brought down from?"

"Ah,

you would not believe me;

the world never believes --let it pass --'tis no matter.

The secret of my birth --"

"The secret of your birth!

Do you mean to say --"

"Gentlemen,"

says the young man,

very solemn,

"I will reveal it to you,

for I feel I may have confidence in you.

By rights I am a duke!"

Jim's eyes bugged out when he heard that;

and I reckon mine did,

too.

Then the baldhead says:

"No!

you can't mean it?"

"Yes.

My great-grandfather,

eldest son of the Duke of Bridgewater,

fled to this country about the end of the last century,

to breathe the pure air of freedom;

married here,

and died,

leaving a son,

his own father dying about the same time.

The second son of the late duke seized the titles and estates --the infant real duke was ignored.

I am the lineal descendant of that infant --I am the rightful Duke of Bridgewater;

and here am I,

forlorn,

torn from my high estate,

hunted of men,

despised by the cold world,

ragged,

worn,

heartbroken,

and degraded to the companionship of felons on a raft!"

Jim pitied him ever so much,

and so did I.

We tried to comfort him,

but he said it warn't much use,

he couldn't be much comforted;

said if we was a mind to acknowledge him,

that would do him more good than most anything else;

so we said we would,

if he would tell us how.

He said we ought to bow when we spoke to him,

and say "Your Grace,"

or "My Lord,"

or "Your Lordship" --and he wouldn't mind it if we called him plain "Bridgewater,"

which,

he said,

was a title anyway,

and not a name;

and one of us ought to wait on him at dinner,

and do any little thing for him he wanted done.

Well,

that was all easy,

so we done it.

All through dinner Jim stood around and waited on him,

and says,

"Will yo' Grace have some o' dis or some o' dat?"

and so on,

and a body could see it was mighty pleasing to him.

But the old man got pretty silent by and by --didn't have much to say,

and didn't look pretty comfortable over all that petting that was going on around that duke.

He seemed to have something on his mind.

So,

along in the afternoon,

he says:

"Looky here,

Bilgewater,"

he says,

"I'm nation sorry for you,

but you ain't the only person that's had troubles like that."

"No?"

"No,

you ain't.

You ain't the only person that's ben snaked down wrongfully out'n a high place."

"Alas!"

"No,

you ain't the only person that's had a secret of his birth."

And,

by jings,

_he_ begins to cry.

"Hold!

What do you mean?"

"Bilgewater,

kin I trust you?"

says the old man,

still sort of sobbing.

"To the bitter death!"

He took the old man by the hand and squeezed it,

and says,

"That secret of your being: speak!"

"Bilgewater,

I am the late Dauphin!"

You bet you,

Jim and me stared this time.

Then the duke says:

"You are what?"

"Yes,

my friend,

it is too true --your eyes is lookin' at this very moment on the pore disappeared Dauphin,

Looy the Seventeen,

son of Looy the Sixteen and Marry Antonette."

"You!

At your age!

No!

You mean you're the late Charlemagne;

you must be six or seven hundred years old,

at the very least."

"Trouble has done it,

Bilgewater,

trouble has done it;

trouble has brung these gray hairs and this premature balditude.

Yes,

gentlemen,

you see before you,

in blue jeans and misery,

the wanderin',

exiled,

trampled-on,

and sufferin' rightful King of France."

Well,

he cried and took on so that me and Jim didn't know hardly what to do,

we was so sorry --and so glad and proud we'd got him with us,

too.

So we set in,

like we done before with the duke,

and tried to comfort _him._ But he said it warn't no use,

nothing but to be dead and done with it all could do him any good;

though he said it often made him feel easier and better for a while if people treated him according to his rights,

and got down on one knee to speak to him,

and always called him "Your Majesty,"

and waited on him first at meals,

and didn't set down in his presence till he asked them.

So Jim and me set to majestying him,

and doing this and that and t'other for him,

and standing up till he told us we might set down.

This done him heaps of good,

and so he got cheerful and comfortable.

But the duke kind of soured on him,

and didn't look a bit satisfied with the way things was going;

still,

the king acted real friendly towards him,

and said the duke's great-grandfather and all the other Dukes of Bilgewater was a good deal thought of by _his_ father,

and was allowed to come to the palace considerable;

but the duke stayed huffy a good while,

till by and by the king says:

"Like as not we got to be together a blamed long time on this h-yer raft,

Bilgewater,

and so what's the use o' your bein' sour?

It

'll only make things oncomfortable.

It ain't my fault I warn't born a duke,

it ain't your fault you warn't born a king --so what's the use to worry?

Make the best o' things the way you find

'em,

says I --that's my motto.

This ain't no bad thing that we've struck here --plenty grub and an easy life --come,

give us your hand,

duke,

and le's all be friends."

The duke done it,

and Jim and me was pretty glad to see it.

It took away all the uncomfortableness and we felt mighty good over it,

because it would

'a' been a miserable business to have any unfriendliness on the raft;

for what you want,

above all things,

on a raft,

is for everybody to be satisfied,

and feel right and kind towards the others.

It didn't take me long to make up my mind that these liars warn't no kings nor dukes at all,

but just low-down humbugs and frauds.

But I never said nothing,

never let on;

kept it to myself;

it's the best way;

then you don't have no quarrels,

and don't get into no trouble.

If they wanted us to call them kings and dukes,

I hadn't no objections,

'long as it would keep peace in the family;

and it warn't no use to tell Jim,

so I didn't tell him.

If I never learnt nothing else out of pap,

I learnt that the best way to get along with his kind of people is to let them have their own way.

CHAPTER XX

They asked us considerable many questions;

wanted to know what we covered up the raft that way for,

and laid by in the daytime instead of running --was Jim a runaway nigger?

Says I:

"Goodness sakes!

would a runaway nigger run _south?_"

No,

they allowed he wouldn't.

I had to account for things some way,

so I says:

"My folks was living in Pike County,

in Missouri,

where I was born,

and they all died off but me and pa and my brother Ike.

Pa,

he

'lowed he'd break up and go down and live with Uncle Ben,

who's got a little one-horse place on the river forty-four mile below Orleans.

Pa was pretty poor,

and had some debts;

so when he'd squared up there warn't nothing left but sixteen dollars and our nigger,

Jim.

That warn't enough to take us fourteen hundred mile,

deck passage nor no other way.

Well,

when the river rose pa had a streak of luck one day;

he ketched this piece of a raft;

so we reckoned we'd go down to Orleans on it.

Pa's luck didn't hold out;

a steamboat run over the forrard corner of the raft one night,

and we all went overboard and dove under the wheel;

Jim and me come up all right,

but pa was drunk,

and Ike was only four years old,

so they never come up no more.

Well,

for the next day or two we had considerable trouble,

because people was always coming out in skiffs and trying to take Jim away from me,

saying they believed he was a runaway nigger.

We don't run daytimes no more now;

nights they don't bother us."

The duke says:

"Leave me alone to cipher out a way so we can run in the daytime if we want to.

I'll think the thing over --I'll invent a plan that

'll fix it.

We'll let it alone for to-day,

because of course we don't want to go by that town yonder in daylight --it mightn't be healthy."

Towards night it begun to darken up and look like rain;

the heat-lightning was squirting around low down in the sky,

and the leaves was beginning to shiver --it was going to be pretty ugly,

it was easy to see that.

So the duke and the king went to overhauling our wigwam,

to see what the beds was like.

My bed was a straw tick --better than Jim's,

which was a corn-shuck tick;

there's always cobs around about in a shuck tick,

and they poke into you and hurt;

and when you roll over the dry shucks sound like you was rolling over in a pile of dead leaves;

it makes such a rustling that you wake up.

Well,

the duke allowed he would take my bed;

but the king allowed he wouldn't.

He says:

"I should

'a' reckoned the difference in rank would a sejested to you that a corn-shuck bed warn't just fitten for me to sleep on.

Your Grace

'll take the shuck bed yourself."

Jim and me was in a sweat again for a minute,

being afraid there was going to be some more trouble amongst them;

so we was pretty glad when the duke says:

"'Tis my fate to be always ground into the mire under the iron heel of oppression.

Misfortune has broken my once haughty spirit;

I yield,

I submit;

'tis my fate.

I am alone in the world --let me suffer;

I can bear it."

We got away as soon as it was good and dark.

The king told us to stand well out towards the middle of the river,

and not show a light till we got a long ways below the town.

We come in sight of the little bunch of lights by and by --that was the town,

you know --and slid by,

about a half a mile out,

all right.

When we was three-quarters of a mile below we hoisted up our signal lantern;

and about ten o'clock it come on to rain and blow and thunder and lighten like everything;

so the king told us to both stay on watch till the weather got better;

then him and the duke crawled into the wigwam and turned in for the night.

It was my watch below till twelve,

but I wouldn't

'a' turned in anyway if I'd had a bed,

because a body don't see such a storm as that every day in the week,

not by a long sight.

My souls,

how the wind did scream along!

And every second or two there'd come a glare that lit up the white-caps for a half a mile around,

and you'd see the islands looking dusty through the rain,

and the trees thrashing around in the wind;

then comes a _h-whack!_ --bum!

bum!

bumble-umble-um-bum-bum-bum-bum --and the thunder would go rumbling and grumbling away,

and quit --and then _rip_ comes another flash and another sock-dolager.

The waves most washed me off the raft sometimes,

but I hadn't any clothes on,

and didn't mind.

We didn't have no trouble about snags;

the lightning was glaring and flittering around so constant that we could see them plenty soon enough to throw her head this way or that and miss them.

I had the middle watch,

you know,

but I was pretty sleepy by that time,

so Jim he said he would stand the first half of it for me;

he was always mighty good that way,

Jim was.

I crawled into the wigwam,

but the king and the duke had their legs sprawled around so there warn't no show for me;

so I laid outside --I didn't mind the rain,

because it was warm,

and the waves warn't running so high now.

About two they come up again,

though,

and Jim was going to call me;

but he changed his mind,

because he reckoned they warn't high enough yet to do any harm;

but he was mistaken about that,

for pretty soon all of a sudden along comes a regular ripper and washed me overboard.

It most killed Jim a-laughing.

He was the easiest nigger to laugh that ever was,

anyway.

I took the watch,

and Jim he laid down and snored away;

and by and by the storm let up for good and all;

and the first cabin-light that showed I rousted him out,

and we slid the raft into hiding-quarters for the day.

The king got out an old ratty deck of cards after breakfast,

and him and the duke played seven-up awhile,

five cents a game.

Then they got tired of it,

and allowed they would "lay out a campaign,"

as they called it.

The duke went down into his carpet-bag,

and fetched up a lot of little printed bills and read them out loud.

One bill said,

"The celebrated Dr. Armand de Montalban,

of Paris,"

would "lecture on the Science of Phrenology" at such and such a place,

on the blank day of blank,

at ten cents admission,

and "furnish charts of character at twenty-five cents apiece."

The duke said that was _him._ In another bill he was the "world-renowned Shakespearian tragedian,

Garrick the Younger,

of Drury Lane,

London."

In other bills he had a lot of other names and done other wonderful things,

like finding water and gold with a "divining-rod,"

"dissipating witch spells,"

and so on.

By and by he says:

"But the histrionic muse is the darling.

Have you ever trod the boards,

Royalty?"

"No,"

says the king.

"You shall,

then,

before you're three days older,

Fallen Grandeur,"

says the duke.

"The first good town we come to we'll hire a hall and do the swordfight in

'Richard III.'

and the balcony scene in

'Romeo and Juliet.'

How does that strike you?"

"I'm in,

up to the hub,

for anything that will pay,

Bilgewater;

but,

you see,

I don't know nothing about play-actin',

and hain't ever seen much of it.

I was too small when pap used to have

'em at the palace.

Do you reckon you can learn me?"

"Easy!"

"All right.

I'm jist a-freezin' for something fresh,

anyway.

Le's commence right away."

So the duke he told him all about who Romeo was and who Juliet was,

and said he was used to being Romeo,

so the king could be Juliet.

"But if Juliet's such a young gal,

duke,

my peeled head and my white whiskers is goin' to look oncommon odd on her,

maybe."

"No,

don't you worry;

these country jakes won't ever think of that.

Besides,

you know,

you'll be in costume,

and that makes all the difference in the world;

Juliet's in a balcony,

enjoying the moonlight before she goes to bed,

and she's got on her nightgown and her ruffled nightcap.

Here are the costumes for the parts."

He got out two or three curtain-calico suits,

which he said was meedyevil armor for Richard III.

and t'other chap,

and a long white cotton nightshirt and a ruffled nightcap to match.

The king was satisfied;

so the duke got out his book and read the parts over in the most splendid spread-eagle way,

prancing around and acting at the same time,

to show how it had got to be done;

then he give the book to the king and told him to get his part by heart.

There was a little one-horse town about three mile down the bend,

and after dinner the duke said he had ciphered out his idea about how to run in daylight without it being dangersome for Jim;

so he allowed he would go down to the town and fix that thing.

The king allowed he would go,

too,

and see if he couldn't strike something.

We was out of coffee,

so Jim said I better go along with them in the canoe and get some.

When we got there there warn't nobody stirring;

streets empty,

and perfectly dead and still,

like Sunday.

We found a sick nigger sunning himself in a back yard,

and he said everybody that warn't too young or too sick or too old was gone to camp-meeting,

about two mile back in the woods.

The king got the directions,

and allowed he'd go and work that camp-meeting for all it was worth,

and I might go,

too.

The duke said what he was after was a printing-office.

We found it;

a little bit of a concern,

up over a carpenter-shop --carpenters and printers all gone to the meeting,

and no doors locked.

It was a dirty,

littered-up place,

and had ink-marks,

and handbills with pictures of horses and runaway niggers on them,

all over the walls.

The duke shed his coat and said he was all right now.

So me and the king lit out for the camp-meeting.

We got there in about a half an hour fairly dripping,

for it was a most awful hot day.

There was as much as a thousand people there from twenty mile around.

The woods was full of teams and wagons,

hitched everywheres,

feeding out of the wagon-troughs and stomping to keep off the flies.

There was sheds made out of poles and roofed over with branches,

where they had lemonade and gingerbread to sell,

and piles of watermelons and green corn and such-like truck.

The preaching was going on under the same kinds of sheds,

only they was bigger and held crowds of people.

The benches was made out of outside slabs of logs,

with holes bored in the round side to drive sticks into for legs.

They didn't have no backs.

The preachers had high platforms to stand on at one end of the sheds.

The women had on sun-bonnets;

and some had linsey-woolsey frocks,

some gingham ones,

and a few of the young ones had on calico.

Some of the young men was barefooted,

and some of the children didn't have on any clothes but just a tow-linen shirt.

Some of the old women was knitting,

and some of the young folks was courting on the sly.

The first shed we come to the preacher was lining out a hymn.

He lined out two lines,

everybody sung it,

and it was kind of grand to hear it,

there was so many of them and they done it in such a rousing way;

then he lined out two more for them to sing --and so on.

The people woke up more and more,

and sung louder and louder;

and towards the end some begun to groan,

and some begun to shout.

Then the preacher begun to preach,

and begun in earnest,

too;

and went weaving first to one side of the platform and then the other,

and then a-leaning down over the front of it,

with his arms and his body going all the time,

and shouting his words out with all his might;

and every now and then he would hold up his Bible and spread it open,

and kind of pass it around this way and that,

shouting,

"It's the brazen serpent in the wilderness!

Look upon it and live!"

And people would shout out,

"Glory!

--A-a-_men_!"

And so he went on,

and the people groaning and crying and saying amen:

"Oh,

come to the mourners' bench!

come,

black with sin!

(_amen!_) come,

sick and sore!

(_amen!_) come,

lame and halt and blind!

(_amen!_) come,

pore and needy,

sunk in shame!

(_a-a-men!_) come,

all that's worn and soiled and suffering!

--come with a broken spirit!

come with a contrite heart!

come in your rags and sin and dirt!

the waters that cleanse is free,

the door of heaven stands open --oh,

enter in and be at rest!"

(_a-a-men!

glory,

glory hallelujah!_)

And so on.

You couldn't make out what the preacher said any more,

on account of the shouting and crying.

Folks got up everywheres in the crowd,

and worked their way just by main strength to the mourners' bench,

with the tears running down their faces;

and when all the mourners had got up there to the front benches in a crowd,

they sung and shouted and flung themselves down on the straw,

just crazy and wild.

Well,

the first I knowed the king got a-going,

and you could hear him over everybody;

and next he went a-charging up onto the platform,

and the preacher he begged him to speak to the people,

and he done it.

He told them he was a pirate --been a pirate for thirty years out in the Indian Ocean --and his crew was thinned out considerable last spring in a fight,

and he was home now to take out some fresh men,

and thanks to goodness he'd been robbed last night and put ashore off of a steamboat without a cent,

and he was glad of it;

it was the blessedest thing that ever happened to him,

because he was a changed man now,

and happy for the first time in his life;

and,

poor as he was,

he was going to start right off and work his way back to the Indian Ocean,

and put in the rest of his life trying to turn the pirates into the true path;

for he could do it better than anybody else,

being acquainted with all pirate crews in that ocean;

and though it would take him a long time to get there without money,

he would get there anyway,

and every time he convinced a pirate he would say to him,

"Don't you thank me,

don't you give me no credit;

it all belongs to them dear people in Pokeville camp-meeting,

natural brothers and benefactors of the race,

and that dear preacher there,

the truest friend a pirate ever had!"

And then he busted into tears,

and so did everybody.

Then somebody sings out,

"Take up a collection for him,

take up a collection!"

Well,

a half a dozen made a jump to do it,

but somebody sings out,

"Let _him_ pass the hat around!"

Then everybody said it,

the preacher too.

So the king went all through the crowd with his hat,

swabbing his eyes,

and blessing the people and praising them and thanking them for being so good to the poor pirates away off there;

and every little while the prettiest kind of girls,

with the tears running down their cheeks,

would up and ask him would he let them kiss him for to remember him by;

and he always done it;

and some of them he hugged and kissed as many as five or six times --and he was invited to stay a week;

and everybody wanted him to live in their houses,

and said they'd think it was an honor;

but he said as this was the last day of the camp-meeting he couldn't do no good,

and besides he was in a sweat to get to the Indian Ocean right off and go to work on the pirates.

When we got back to the raft and he come to count up he found he had collected eighty-seven dollars and seventy-five cents.

And then he had fetched away a three-gallon jug of whisky,

too,

that he found under a wagon when he was starting home through the woods.

The king said,

take it all around,

it laid over any day he'd ever put in in the missionarying line.

He said it warn't no use talking,

heathens don't amount to shucks alongside of pirates to work a camp-meeting with.

The duke was thinking _he'd_ been doing pretty well till the king come to show up,

but after that he didn't think so so much.

He had set up and printed off two little jobs for farmers in that printing-office --horse bills --and took the money,

four dollars.

And he had got in ten dollars' worth of advertisements for the paper,

which he said he would put in for four dollars if they would pay in advance --so they done it.

The price of the paper was two dollars a year,

but he took in three subscriptions for half a dollar apiece on condition of them paying him in advance;

they were going to pay in cordwood and onions as usual,

but he said he had just bought the concern and knocked down the price as low as he could afford it,

and was going to run it for cash.

He set up a little piece of poetry,

which he made,

himself,

out of his own head --three verses --kind of sweet and saddish --the name of it was,

"Yes,

crush,

cold world,

this breaking heart" --and he left that all set up and ready to print in the paper,

and didn't charge nothing for it.

Well,

he took in nine dollars and a half,

and said he'd done a pretty square day's work for it.

Then he showed us another little job he'd printed and hadn't charged for,

because it was for us.

It had a picture of a runaway nigger with a bundle on a stick over his shoulder,

and "$200 reward" under it.

The reading was all about Jim and just described him to a dot.

It said he run away from St. Jacques's plantation,

forty mile below New Orleans,

last winter,

and likely went north,

and whoever would catch him and send him back he could have the reward and expenses.

"Now,"

says the duke,

"after to-night we can run in the daytime if we want to.

Whenever we see anybody coming we can tie Jim hand and foot with a rope,

and lay him in the wigwam and show this handbill and say we captured him up the river,

and were too poor to travel on a steamboat,

so we got this little raft on credit from our friends and are going down to get the reward.

Handcuffs and chains would look still better on Jim,

but it wouldn't go well with the story of us being so poor.

Too much like jewelry.

Ropes are the correct thing --we must preserve the unities,

as we say on the boards."

We all said the duke was pretty smart,

and there couldn't be no trouble about running daytimes.

We judged we could make miles enough that night to get out of the reach of the powwow we reckoned the duke's work in the printing-office was going to make in that little town;

then we could boom right along if we wanted to.

We laid low and kept still,

and never shoved out till nearly ten o'clock;

then we slid by,

pretty wide away from the town,

and didn't hoist our lantern till we was clear out of sight of it.

When Jim called me to take the watch at four in the morning,

he says:

"Huck,

does you reck'n we gwyne to run acrost any mo' kings on dis trip?"

"No,"

I says,

"I reckon not."

"Well,"

says he,

"dat's all right,

den.

I doan' mine one er two kings,

but dat's enough.

Dis one's powerful drunk,

en de duke ain' much better."

I found Jim had been trying to get him to talk French,

so he could hear what it was like;

but he said he had been in this country so long,

and had so much trouble,

he'd forgot it.

CHAPTER XXI

It was after sun-up now,

but we went right on and didn't tie up.

The king and the duke turned out by and by looking pretty rusty;

but after they'd jumped overboard and took a swim it chippered them up a good deal.

After breakfast the king he took a seat on the corner of the raft,

and pulled off his boots and rolled up his britches,

and let his legs dangle in the water,

so as to be comfortable,

and lit his pipe,

and went to getting his "Romeo and Juliet" by heart.

When he had got it pretty good him and the duke begun to practise it together.

The duke had to learn him over and over again how to say every speech;

and he made him sigh,

and put his hand on his heart,

and after a while he said he done it pretty well;

"only,"

he says,

"you mustn't bellow out _Romeo!_ that way,

like a bull --you must say it soft and sick and languishy,

so --R-o-o-meo!

that is the idea;

for Juliet's a dear sweet mere child of a girl,

you know,

and she doesn't bray like a jackass."

Well,

next they got out a couple of long swords that the duke made out of oak laths,

and begun to practise the sword-fight --the duke called himself Richard III.;

and the way they laid on and pranced around the raft was grand to see.

But by and by the king tripped and fell overboard,

and after that they took a rest,

and had a talk about all kinds of adventures they'd had in other times along the river.

After dinner the duke says:

"Well,

Capet,

we'll want to make this a first-class show,

you know,

so I guess we'll add a little more to it.

We want a little something to answer encores with,

anyway."

"What's onkores,

Bilgewater?"

The duke told him,

and then says:

"I'll answer by doing the Highland fling or the sailor's hornpipe;

and you --well,

let me see --oh,

I've got it --you can do Hamlet's soliloquy."

"Hamlet's which?"

"Hamlet's soliloquy,

you know;

the most celebrated thing in Shakespeare.

Ah,

it's sublime,

sublime!

Always fetches the house.

I haven't got it in the book --I've only got one volume --but I reckon I can piece it out from memory.

I'll just walk up and down a minute,

and see if I can call it back from recollection's vaults."

So he went to marching up and down,

thinking,

and frowning horrible every now and then;

then he would hoist up his eyebrows;

next he would squeeze his hand on his forehead and stagger back and kind of moan;

next he would sigh,

and next he'd let on to drop a tear.

It was beautiful to see him.

By and by he got it.

He told us to give attention.

Then he strikes a most noble attitude,

with one leg shoved forwards,

and his arms stretched away up,

and his head tilted back,

looking up at the sky;

and then he begins to rip and rave and grit his teeth;

and after that,

all through his speech,

he howled,

and spread around,

and swelled up his chest,

and just knocked the spots out of any acting ever _I_ see before.

This is the speech --I learned it,

easy enough,

while he was learning it to the king:

To be,

or not to be;

that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity of so long life;

For who would fardels bear,

till Birnam Wood do come to Dunsinane,

But that the fear of something after death Murders the innocent sleep,

Great nature's second course,

And makes us rather sling the arrows of outrageous fortune Than fly to others that we know not of.

There's the respect must give us pause: Wake Duncan with thy knocking!

I would thou couldst;

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,

The oppressor's wrong,

the proud man's contumely,

The law's delay,

and the quietus which his pangs might take,

In the dead waste and middle of the night,

when churchyards yawn In customary suits of solemn black,

But that the undiscovered country from whose bourne no traveler returns,

Breathes forth contagion on the world,

And thus the native hue of resolution,

like the poor cat i' the adage,

Is sicklied o'er with care,

And all the clouds that lowered o'er our housetops,

With this regard their currents turn awry,

And lose the name of action.

'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.

But soft you,

the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws,

But get thee to a nunnery --go!

Well,

the old man he liked that speech,

and he mighty soon got it so he could do it first rate.

It seemed like he was just born for it;

and when he had his hand in and was excited,

it was perfectly lovely the way he would rip and tear and rair up behind when he was getting it off.

The first chance we got the duke he had some show-bills printed;

and after that,

for two or three days as we floated along,

the raft was a most uncommon lively place,

for there warn't nothing but sword-fighting and rehearsing --as the duke called it --going on all the time.

One morning,

when we was pretty well down the state of Arkansaw,

we come in sight of a little one-horse town in a big bend;

so we tied up about three-quarters of a mile above it,

in the mouth of a crick which was shut in like a tunnel by the cypress trees,

and all of us but Jim took the canoe and went down there to see if there was any chance in that place for our show.

We struck it mighty lucky;

there was going to be a circus there that afternoon,

and the country-people was already beginning to come in,

in all kinds of old shackly wagons,

and on horses.

The circus would leave before night,

so our show would have a pretty good chance.

The duke he hired the court-house,

and we went around and stuck up our bills.

They read like this:

Shaksperean Revival !

!

!

Wonderful Attraction!

For One Night Only!

The world renowned tragedians,

David Garrick the younger,

of Drury Lane Theatre,

London,

and Edmund Kean the elder,

of the Royal Haymarket Theatre,

Whitechapel,

Pudding Lane,

Piccadilly,

London,

and the Royal Continental Theatres,

in their sublime Shaksperean Spectacle entitled The Balcony Scene in Romeo and Juliet !

!

!

Romeo ... ... ... ... ... ....Mr. Garrick Juliet ... ... ... ... ... ...Mr. Kean Assisted by the whole strength of the company!

New costumes,

new scenery,

new appointments!

Also: The thrilling,

masterly,

and blood-curdling Broad-sword conflict In Richard III.

!

!

!

Richard III ... ... ... ....Mr. Garrick Richmond ... ... ... ... ....Mr. Kean Also: (by special request) Hamlet's Immortal Soliloquy !

!

By the Illustrious Kean!

Done by him 300 consecutive nights in Paris!

For One Night Only,

On account of imperative European engagements!

Admission 25 cents;

children and servants,

10 cents.

Then we went loafing around town.

The stores and houses was most all old,

shackly,

dried-up frame concerns that hadn't ever been painted;

they was set up three or four foot above ground on stilts,

so as to be out of reach of the water when the river was overflowed.

The houses had little gardens around them,

but they didn't seem to raise hardly anything in them but jimpson-weeds,

and sunflowers,

and ash-piles,

and old curled-up boots and shoes,

and pieces of bottles,

and rags,

and played-out tinware.

The fences was made of different kinds of boards,

nailed on at different times;

and they leaned every which way,

and had gates that didn't generly have but one hinge --a leather one.

Some of the fences had been whitewashed some time or another,

but the duke said it was in Columbus's time,

like enough.

There was generly hogs in the garden,

and people driving them out.

All the stores was along one street.

They had white domestic awnings in front,

and the country-people hitched their horses to the awning-posts.

There was empty dry-goods boxes under the awnings,

and loafers roosting on them all day long,

whittling them with their Barlow knives;

and chawing tobacco,

and gaping and yawning and stretching --a mighty ornery lot.

They generly had on yellow straw hats most as wide as an umbrella,

but didn't wear no coats nor waistcoats;

they called one another Bill,

and Buck,

and Hank,

and Joe,

and Andy,

and talked lazy and drawly,

and used considerable many cuss-words.

There was as many as one loafer leaning up against every awning-post,

and he most always had his hands in his britches pockets,

except when he fetched them out to lend a chaw of tobacco or scratch.

What a body was hearing amongst them all the time was:

"Gimme a chaw

'v tobacker,

Hank."

"Cain't;

I hain't got but one chaw left.

Ask Bill."

Maybe Bill he gives him a chaw;

maybe he lies and says he ain't got none.

Some of them kinds of loafers never has a cent in the world,

nor a chaw of tobacco of their own.

They get all their chawing by borrowing;

they say to a fellow,

"I wisht you'd len' me a chaw,

Jack,

I jist this minute give Ben Thompson the last chaw I had" --which is a lie pretty much every time;

it don't fool nobody but a stranger;

but Jack ain't no stranger,

so he says:

"_You_ give him a chaw,

did you?

So did your sister's cat's grandmother.

You pay me back the chaws you've awready borry'd off'n me,

Lafe Buckner,

then I'll loan you one or two ton of it,

and won't charge you no back intrust,

nuther."

"Well,

I _did_ pay you back some of it wunst."

"Yes,

you did --'bout six chaws.

You borry'd store tobacker and paid back nigger-head."

Store tobacco is flat black plug,

but these fellows mostly chaws the natural leaf twisted.

When they borrow a chaw they don't generly cut it off with a knife,

but set the plug in between their teeth,

and gnaw with their teeth and tug at the plug with their hands till they get it in two;

then sometimes the one that owns the tobacco looks mournful at it when it's handed back,

and says,

sarcastic:

"Here,

gimme the _chaw_,

and you take the _plug_."

[Illustration:"'GIMME A CHAW'"]

All the streets and lanes was just mud;

they warn't nothing else _but_ mud --mud as black as tar and nigh about a foot deep in some places,

and two or three inches deep in _all_ the places.

The hogs loafed and grunted around everywheres.

You'd see a muddy sow and a litter of pigs come lazying along the street and whollop herself right down in the way,

where folks had to walk around her,

and she'd stretch out and shut her eyes and wave her ears whilst the pigs was milking her,

and look as happy as if she was on salary.

And pretty soon you'd hear a loafer sing out,

"Hi!

_so_ boy!

sick him,

Tige!"

and away the sow would go,

squealing most horrible,

with a dog or two swinging to each ear,

and three or four dozen more a-coming;

and then you would see all the loafers get up and watch the thing out of sight,

and laugh at the fun and look grateful for the noise.

Then they'd settle back again till there was a dog-fight.

There couldn't anything wake them up all over,

and make them happy all over,

like a dog-fight --unless it might be putting turpentine on a stray dog and setting fire to him,

or tying a tin pan to his tail and see him run himself to death.

On the river-front some of the houses was sticking out over the bank,

and they was bowed and bent,

and about ready to tumble in.

The people had moved out of them.

The bank was caved away under one corner of some others,

and that corner was hanging over.

People lived in them yet,

but it was dangersome,

because sometimes a strip of land as wide as a house caves in at a time.

Sometimes a belt of land a quarter of a mile deep will start in and cave along and cave along till it all caves into the river in one summer.

Such a town as that has to be always moving back,

and back,

and back,

because the river's always gnawing at it.

The nearer it got to noon that day the thicker and thicker was the wagons and horses in the streets,

and more coming all the time.

Families fetched their dinners with them from the country,

and eat them in the wagons.

There was considerable whisky-drinking going on,

and I seen three fights.

By and by somebody sings out:

"Here comes old Boggs!

--in from the country for his little old monthly drunk;

here he comes,

boys!"

All the loafers looked glad;

I reckoned they was used to having fun out of Boggs.

One of them says:

"Wonder who he's a-gwyne to chaw up this time.

If he'd a-chawed up all the men he's ben a-gwyne to chaw up in the last twenty year he'd have considerable ruputation now."

Another one says,

"I wisht old Boggs

'd threaten me,

'cuz then I'd know I warn't gwyne to die for a thousan' year."

Boggs comes a-tearing along on his horse,

whooping and yelling like an Injun,

and singing out:

"Cler the track,

thar.

I'm on the waw-path,

and the price uv coffins is a-gwyne to raise."

He was drunk,

and weaving about in his saddle;

he was over fifty year old,

and had a very red face.

Everybody yelled at him and laughed at him and sassed him,

and he sassed back,

and said he'd attend to them and lay them out in their regular turns,

but he couldn't wait now because he'd come to town to kill old Colonel Sherburn,

and his motto was,

"Meat first,

and spoon vittles to top off on."

He see me,

and rode up and says:

"Whar'd you come f'm,

boy?

You prepared to die?"

Then he rode on.

I was scared,

but a man says:

"He don't mean nothing;

he's always a-carryin' on like that when he's drunk.

He's the best-naturedest old fool in Arkansaw --never hurt nobody,

drunk nor sober."

Boggs rode up before the biggest store in town,

and bent his head down so he could see under the curtain of the awning and yells:

"Come out here,

Sherburn!

Come out and meet the man you've swindled.

You're the houn' I'm after,

and I'm a-gwyne to have you,

too!"

And so he went on,

calling Sherburn everything he could lay his tongue to,

and the whole street packed with people listening and laughing and going on.

By and by a proud-looking man about fifty-five --and he was a heap the best-dressed man in that town,

too --steps out of the store,

and the crowd drops back on each side to let him come.

He says to Boggs,

mighty ca'm and slow --he says:

"I'm tired of this,

but I'll endure it till one o'clock.

Till one o'clock,

mind --no longer.

If you open your mouth against me only once after that time you can't travel so far but I will find you."

Then he turns and goes in.

The crowd looked mighty sober;

nobody stirred,

and there warn't no more laughing.

Boggs rode off blackguarding Sherburn as loud as he could yell,

all down the street;

and pretty soon back he comes and stops before the store,

still keeping it up.

Some men crowded around him and tried to get him to shut up,

but he wouldn't;

they told him it would be one o'clock in about fifteen minutes,

and so he _must_ go home --he must go right away.

But it didn't do no good.

He cussed away with all his might,

and throwed his hat down in the mud and rode over it,

and pretty soon away he went a-raging down the street again,

with his gray hair a-flying.

Everybody that could get a chance at him tried their best to coax him off of his horse so they could lock him up and get him sober;

but it warn't no use --up the street he would tear again,

and give Sherburn another cussing.

By and by somebody says:

"Go for his daughter!

--quick,

go for his daughter;

sometimes he'll listen to her.

If anybody can persuade him,

she can."

So somebody started on a run.

I walked down street a ways and stopped.

In about five or ten minutes here comes Boggs again,

but not on his horse.

He was a-reeling across the street towards me,

bareheaded,

with a friend on both sides of him a-holt of his arms and hurrying him along.

He was quiet,

and looked uneasy;

and he warn't hanging back any,

but was doing some of the hurrying himself.

Somebody sings out:

"Boggs!"

I looked over there to see who said it,

and it was that Colonel Sherburn.

He was standing perfectly still in the street,

and had a pistol raised in his right hand --not aiming it,

but holding it out with the barrel tilted up towards the sky.

The same second I see a young girl coming on the run,

and two men with her.

Boggs and the men turned round to see who called him,

and when they see the pistol the men jumped to one side,

and the pistol-barrel come down slow and steady to a level --both barrels cocked.

Boggs throws up both of his hands and says,

"O Lord,

don't shoot!"

Bang!

goes the first shot,

and he staggers back,

clawing at the air --bang!

goes the second one,

and he tumbles backwards onto the ground,

heavy and solid,

with his arms spread out.

That young girl screamed out and comes rushing,

and down she throws herself on her father,

crying,

and saying,

"Oh,

he's killed him,

he's killed him!"

The crowd closed up around them,

and shouldered and jammed one another,

with their necks stretched,

trying to see,

and people on the inside trying to shove them back and shouting,

"Back,

back!

give him air,

give him air!"

Colonel Sherburn he tossed his pistol onto the ground,

and turned around on his heels and walked off.

They took Boggs to a little drug store,

the crowd pressing around just the same,

and the whole town following,

and I rushed and got a good place at the window,

where I was close to him and could see in.

They laid him on the floor and put one large Bible under his head,

and opened another one and spread it on his breast;

but they tore open his shirt first,

and I seen where one of the bullets went in.

He made about a dozen long gasps,

his breast lifting the Bible up when he drawed in his breath,

and letting it down again when he breathed it out --and after that he laid still;

he was dead.

Then they pulled his daughter away from him,

screaming and crying,

and took her off.

She was about sixteen,

and very sweet and gentle looking,

but awful pale and scared.

Well,

pretty soon the whole town was there,

squirming and scrouging and pushing and shoving to get at the window and have a look,

but people that had the places wouldn't give them up,

and folks behind them was saying all the time,

"Say,

now,

you've looked enough,

you fellows;

'tain't right and

'tain't fair for you to stay thar all the time,

and never give nobody a chance;

other folks has their rights as well as you."

There was considerable jawing back,

so I slid out,

thinking maybe there was going to be trouble.

The streets was full,

and everybody was excited.

Everybody that seen the shooting was telling how it happened,

and there was a big crowd packed around each one of these fellows,

stretching their necks and listening.

One long,

lanky man,

with long hair and a big white fur stovepipe hat on the back of his head,

and a crooked-handled cane,

marked out the places on the ground where Boggs stood and where Sherburn stood,

and the people following him around from one place to t'other and watching everything he done,

and bobbing their heads to show they understood,

and stooping a little and resting their hands on their thighs to watch him mark the places on the ground with his cane;

and then he stood up straight and stiff where Sherburn had stood,

frowning and having his hat-brim down over his eyes,

and sung out,

"Boggs!"

and then fetched his cane down slow to a level,

and says "Bang!"

staggered backwards,

says "Bang!"

again,

and fell down flat on his back.

The people that had seen the thing said he done it perfect;

said it was just exactly the way it all happened.

Then as much as a dozen people got out their bottles and treated him.

Well,

by and by somebody said Sherburn ought to be lynched.

In about a minute everybody was saying it;

so away they went,

mad and yelling,

and snatching down every clothes-line they come to to do the hanging with.

CHAPTER XXII

They swarmed up towards Sherburn's house,

a-whooping and raging like Injuns,

and everything had to clear the way or get run over and tromped to mush,

and it was awful to see.

Children was heeling it ahead of the mob,

screaming and trying to get out of the way;

and every window along the road was full of women's heads,

and there was nigger boys in every tree,

and bucks and wenches looking over every fence;

and as soon as the mob would get nearly to them they would break and skaddle back out of reach.

Lots of the women and girls was crying and taking on,

scared most to death.

They swarmed up in front of Sherburn's palings as thick as they could jam together,

and you couldn't hear yourself think for the noise.

It was a little twenty-foot yard.

Some sung out "Tear down the fence!

tear down the fence!"

Then there was a racket of ripping and tearing and smashing,

and down she goes,

and the front wall of the crowd begins to roll in like a wave.

Just then Sherburn steps out onto the roof of his little front porch,

with a double-barrel gun in his hand,

and takes his stand,

perfectly ca'm and deliberate,

not saying a word.

The racket stopped,

and the wave sucked back.

Sherburn never said a word --just stood there,

looking down.

The stillness was awful creepy and uncomfortable.

Sherburn run his eye slow along the crowd;

and wherever it struck the people tried a little to outgaze him,

but they couldn't;

they dropped their eyes and looked sneaky.

Then pretty soon Sherburn sort of laughed;

not the pleasant kind,

but the kind that makes you feel like when you are eating bread that's got sand in it.

Then he says,

slow and scornful:

"The idea of _you_ lynching anybody!

It's amusing.

The idea of you thinking you had pluck enough to lynch a _man!_ Because you're brave enough to tar and feather poor friendless cast-out women that come along here,

did that make you think you had grit enough to lay your hands on a _man?_ Why,

a _man's_ safe in the hands of ten thousand of your kind --as long as it's daytime and you're not behind him.

"Do I know you?

I know you clear through.

I was born and raised in the South,

and I've lived in the North;

so I know the average all around.

The average man's a coward.

In the North he lets anybody walk over him that wants to,

and goes home and prays for a humble spirit to bear it.

In the South one man,

all by himself,

has stopped a stage full of men in the daytime,

and robbed the lot.

Your newspapers call you a brave people so much that you think you are braver than any other people --whereas you're just _as_ brave,

and no braver.

Why don't your juries hang murderers?

Because they're afraid the man's friends will shoot them in the back,

in the dark --and it's just what they _would_ do.

"So they always acquit;

and then a _man_ goes in the night,

with a hundred masked cowards at his back,

and lynches the rascal.

Your mistake is,

that you didn't bring a man with you;

that's one mistake,

and the other is that you didn't come in the dark and fetch your masks.

You brought _part_ of a man --Buck Harkness,

there --and if you hadn't had him to start you,

you'd

'a' taken it out in blowing.

"You didn't want to come.

The average man don't like trouble and danger.

_You_ don't like trouble and danger.

But if only _half_ a man --like Buck Harkness,

there --shouts

'Lynch him!

lynch him!'

you're afraid to back down --afraid you'll be found out to be what you are --_cowards_ --and so you raise a yell,

and hang yourselves onto that half-a-man's coat-tail,

and come raging up here,

swearing what big things you're going to do.

The pitifulest thing out is a mob;

that's what an army is --a mob;

they don't fight with courage that's born in them,

but with courage that's borrowed from their mass,

and from their officers.

But a mob without any _man_ at the head of it is _beneath_ pitifulness.

Now the thing for _you_ to do is to droop your tails and go home and crawl in a hole.

If any real lynching's going to be done it will be done in the dark,

Southern fashion;

and when they come they'll bring their masks,

and fetch a _man_ along.

Now _leave_ --and take your half-a-man with you" --tossing his gun up across his left arm and cocking it when he says this.

The crowd washed back sudden,

and then broke all apart,

and went tearing off every which way,

and Buck Harkness he heeled it after them,

looking tolerable cheap.

I could

'a' stayed if I wanted to,

but I didn't want to.

I went to the circus and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by,

and then dived in under the tent.

I had my twenty-dollar gold piece and some other money,

but I reckoned I better save it,

because there ain't no telling how soon you are going to need it,

away from home and amongst strangers that way.

You can't be too careful.

I ain't opposed to spending money on circuses when there ain't no other way,

but there ain't no use in _wasting_ it on them.

It was a real bully circus.

It was the splendidest sight that ever was when they all come riding in,

two and two,

and gentleman and lady,

side by side,

the men just in their drawers and undershirts,

and no shoes nor stirrups,

and resting their hands on their thighs easy and comfortable --there must

'a' been twenty of them --and every lady with a lovely complexion,

and perfectly beautiful,

and looking just like a gang of real sure-enough queens,

and dressed in clothes that cost millions of dollars,

and just littered with diamonds.

It was a powerful fine sight;

I never see anything so lovely.

And then one by one they got up and stood,

and went a-weaving around the ring so gentle and wavy and graceful,

the men looking ever so tall and airy and straight,

with their heads bobbing and skimming along,

away up there under the tent-roof,

and every lady's rose-leafy dress flapping soft and silky around her hips,

and she looking like the most loveliest parasol.

And then faster and faster they went,

all of them dancing,

first one foot out in the air and then the other,

the horses leaning more and more,

and the ringmaster going round and round the center pole,

cracking his whip and shouting "Hi!

--hi!"

and the clown cracking jokes behind him;

and by and by all hands dropped the reins,

and every lady put her knuckles on her hips and every gentleman folded his arms,

and then how the horses did lean over and hump themselves!

And so one after the other they all skipped off into the ring,

and made the sweetest bow I ever see,

and then scampered out,

and everybody clapped their hands and went just about wild.

Well,

all through the circus they done the most astonishing things;

and all the time that clown carried on so it most killed the people.

The ringmaster couldn't ever say a word to him but he was back at him quick as a wink with the funniest things a body ever said;

and how he ever _could_ think of so many of them,

and so sudden and so pat,

was what I couldn't no way understand.

Why,

I couldn't

'a' thought of them in a year.

And by and by a drunken man tried to get into the ring --said he wanted to ride;

said he could ride as well as anybody that ever was.

They argued and tried to keep him out,

but he wouldn't listen,

and the whole show come to a standstill.

Then the people begun to holler at him and make fun of him,

and that made him mad,

and he begun to rip and tear;

so that stirred up the people,

and a lot of men begun to pile down off of the benches and swarm toward the ring,

saying,

"Knock him down!

throw him out!"

and one or two women begun to scream.

So,

then,

the ringmaster he made a little speech,

and said he hoped there wouldn't be no disturbance,

and if the man would promise he wouldn't make no more trouble he would let him ride if he thought he could stay on the horse.

So everybody laughed and said all right,

and the man got on.

The minute he was on,

the horse begun to rip and tear and jump and cavort around,

with two circus men hanging on to his bridle trying to hold him,

and the drunk man hanging on to his neck,

and his heels flying in the air every jump,

and the whole crowd of people standing up shouting and laughing till tears rolled down.

And at last,

sure enough,

all the circus men could do,

the horse broke loose,

and away he went like the very nation,

round and round the ring,

with that sot laying down on him and hanging to his neck,

with first one leg hanging most to the ground on one side,

and then t'other one on t'other side,

and the people just crazy.

It warn't funny to me,

though;

I was all of a tremble to see his danger.

But pretty soon he struggled up astraddle and grabbed the bridle,

a-reeling this way and that;

and the next minute he sprung up and dropped the bridle and stood!

and the horse a-going like a house afire,

too.

He just stood up there,

a-sailing around as easy and comfortable as if he warn't ever drunk in his life --and then he begun to pull off his clothes and sling them.

He shed them so thick they kind of clogged up the air,

and altogether he shed seventeen suits.

And,

then,

there he was,

slim and handsome,

and dressed the gaudiest and prettiest you ever saw,

and he lit into that horse with his whip and made him fairly hum --and finally skipped off,

and made his bow and danced off to the dressing-room,

and everybody just a-howling with pleasure and astonishment.

Then the ringmaster he see how he had been fooled,

and he _was_ the sickest ringmaster you ever see,

I reckon.

Why,

it was one of his own men!

He had got up that joke all out of his own head,

and never let on to nobody.

Well,

I felt sheepish enough to be took in so,

but I wouldn't

'a' been in that ringmaster's place,

not for a thousand dollars.

I don't know;

there may be bullier circuses than what that one was,

but I never struck them yet.

Anyways,

it was plenty good enough for _me_;

and wherever I run across it,

it can have all of _my_ custom every time.

Well,

that night we had _our_ show;

but there warn't only about twelve people there --just enough to pay expenses.

And they laughed all the time,

and that made the duke mad;

and everybody left,

anyway,

before the show was over,

but one boy which was asleep.

So the duke said these Arkansaw lunkheads couldn't come up to Shakespeare;

what they wanted was low comedy --and maybe something ruther worse than low comedy,

he reckoned.

He said he could size their style.

So next morning he got some big sheets of wrapping-paper and some black paint,

and drawed off some handbills,

and stuck them up all over the village.

The bills said:

AT THE COURT HOUSE!

FOR 3 NIGHTS ONLY!

_The World-Renowned Tragedians_ DAVID GARRICK THE YOUNGER!

AND EDMUND KEAN THE ELDER!

Of the London and Continental Theatres,

In their Thrilling Tragedy of THE KING'S CAMELEOPARD,

OR THE ROYAL NONESUCH !

!

!

_Admission 50 cents._

Then at the bottom was the biggest line of all,

which said:

LADIES AND CHILDREN NOT ADMITTED

"There,"

says he,

"if that line don't fetch them,

I don't know Arkansaw!"

CHAPTER XXIII I

Well,

all day him and the king was hard at it,

rigging up a stage and a curtain and a row of candles for footlights;

and that night the house was jam full of men in no time.

When the place couldn't hold no more,

the duke he quit tending door and went around the back way and come onto the stage and stood up before the curtain and made a little speech,

and praised up this tragedy,

and said it was the most thrillingest one that ever was;

and so he went on a-bragging about the tragedy,

and about Edmund Kean the Elder,

which was to play the main principal part in it;

and at last when he'd got everybody's expectations up high enough,

he rolled up the curtain,

and the next minute the king come a-prancing out on all fours,

naked;

and he was painted all over,

ring-streaked-and-striped,

all sorts of colors,

as splendid as a rainbow.

And --but never mind the rest of his outfit;

it was just wild,

but it was awful funny.

The people most killed themselves laughing;

and when the king got done capering and capered off behind the scenes,

they roared and clapped and stormed and haw-hawed till he come back and done it over again,

and after that they made him do it another time.

Well,

it would make a cow laugh to see the shines that old idiot cut.

Then the duke he lets the curtain down,

and bows to the people,

and says the great tragedy will be performed only two nights more,

on accounts of pressing London engagements,

where the seats is all sold already for it in Drury Lane;

and then he makes them another bow,

and says if he has succeeded in pleasing them and instructing them,

he will be deeply obleeged if they will mention it to their friends and get them to come and see it.

Twenty people sings out:

"What,

is it over?

Is that _all_?"

The duke says yes.

Then there was a fine time.

Everybody sings out,

"Sold!"

and rose up mad,

and was a-going for that stage and them tragedians.

But a big,

fine-looking man jumps up on a bench and shouts:

"Hold on!

Just a word,

gentlemen."

They stopped to listen.

"We are sold --mighty badly sold.

But we don't want to be the laughing-stock of this whole town,

I reckon,

and never hear the last of this thing as long as we live.

_No_.

What we want is to go out of here quiet,

and talk this show up,

and sell the _rest_ of the town!

Then we'll all be in the same boat.

Ain't that sensible?"

("You bet it is!

--the jedge is right!"

everybody sings out.)

"All right,

then --not a word about any sell.

Go along home,

and advise everybody to come and see the tragedy."

Next day you couldn't hear nothing around that town but how splendid that show was.

House was jammed again that night,

and we sold this crowd the same way.

When me and the king and the duke got home to the raft we all had a supper;

and by and by,

about midnight,

they made Jim and me back her out and float her down the middle of the river,

and fetch her in and hide her about two mile below town.

The third night the house was crammed again --and they warn't new-comers this time,

but people that was at the show the other two nights.

I stood by the duke at the door,

and I see that every man that went in had his pockets bulging,

or something muffled up under his coat --and I see it warn't no perfumery,

neither,

not by a long sight.

I smelt sickly eggs by the barrel,

and rotten cabbages,

and such things;

and if I know the signs of a dead cat being around,

and I bet I do,

there was sixty-four of them went in.

I shoved in there for a minute,

but it was too various for me;

I couldn't stand it.

Well,

when the place couldn't hold no more people the duke he give a fellow a quarter and told him to tend door for him a minute,

and then he started around for the stage door,

I after him;

but the minute we turned the corner and was in the dark he says:

"Walk fast now till you get away from the houses,

and then shin for the raft like the dickens was after you!"

I done it,

and he done the same.

We struck the raft at the same time,

and in less than two seconds we was gliding down-stream,

all dark and still,

and edging towards the middle of the river,

nobody saying a word.

I reckoned the poor king was in for a gaudy time of it with the audience,

but nothing of the sort;

pretty soon he crawls out from under the wigwam,

and says:

"Well,

how'd the old thing pan out this time,

duke?"

He hadn't been up-town at all.

We never showed a light till we was about ten mile below the village.

Then we lit up and had a supper,

and the king and the duke fairly laughed their bones loose over the way they'd served them people.

The duke says:

"Greenhorns,

flatheads!

I knew the first house would keep mum and let the rest of the town get roped in;

and I knew they'd lay for us the third night,

and consider it was _their_ turn now.

Well,

it _is_ their turn,

and I'd give something to know how much they'd take for it.

I _would_ just like to know how they're putting in their opportunity.

They can turn it into a picnic if they want to --they brought plenty provisions."

Them rapscallions took in four hundred and sixty-five dollars in that three nights.

I never see money hauled in by the wagon-load like that before.

By and by,

when they was asleep and snoring,

Jim says:

"Don't it s'prise you de way dem kings carries on,

Huck?"

"No,"

I says,

"it don't."

"Why don't it,

Huck?"

"Well,

it don't,

because it's in the breed.

I reckon they're all alike."

"But,

Huck,

dese kings o' ourn is reglar rapscallions;

dat's jist what dey is;

dey's reglar rapscallions."

"Well,

that's what I'm a-saying;

all kings is mostly rapscallions,

as fur as I can make out."

"Is dat so?"

"You read about them once --you'll see.

Look at Henry the Eight;

this

'n'

's a Sunday-school Superintendent to _him_.

And look at Charles Second,

and Louis Fourteen,

and Louis Fifteen,

and James Second,

and Edward Second,

and Richard Third,

and forty more;

besides all them Saxon heptarchies that used to rip around so in old times and raise Cain.

My,

you ought to seen old Henry the Eight when he was in bloom.

He _was_ a blossom.

He used to marry a new wife every day,

and chop off her head next morning.

And he would do it just as indifferent as if he was ordering up eggs.

'Fetch up Nell Gwynn,'

he says.

They fetch her up.

Next morning,

'Chop off her head!'

And they chop it off.

'Fetch up Jane Shore,'

he says;

and up she comes.

Next morning,

'Chop off her head' --and they chop it off.

'Ring up Fair Rosamun.'

Fair Rosamun answers the bell.

Next morning,

'Chop off her head.'

And he made every one of them tell him a tale every night;

and he kept that up till he had hogged a thousand and one tales that way,

and then he put them all in a book,

and called it Domesday Book --which was a good name and stated the case.

You don't know kings,

Jim,

but I know them;

and this old rip of ourn is one of the cleanest I've struck in history.

Well,

Henry he takes a notion he wants to get up some trouble with this country.

How does he go at it --give notice?

--give the country a show?

No. All of a sudden he heaves all the tea in Boston Harbor overboard,

and whacks out a declaration of independence,

and dares them to come on.

That was _his_ style --he never give anybody a chance.

He had suspicions of his father,

the Duke of Wellington.

Well,

what did he do?

Ask him to show up?

No --drownded him in a butt of mamsey,

like a cat.

S'pose people left money laying around where he was --what did he do?

He collared it.

S'pose he contracted to do a thing,

and you paid him,

and didn't set down there and see that he done it --what did he do?

He always done the other thing.

S'pose he opened his mouth --what then?

If he didn't shut it up powerful quick he'd lose a lie every time.

That's the kind of a bug Henry was;

and if we'd

'a' had him along

'stead of our kings he'd

'a' fooled that town a heap worse than ourn done.

I don't say that ourn is lambs,

because they ain't,

when you come right down to the cold facts;

but they ain't nothing to _that_ old ram,

anyway.

All I say is,

kings is kings,

and you got to make allowances.

Take them all around,

they're a mighty ornery lot.

It's the way they're raised."

"But dis one do _smell_ so like de nation,

Huck."

"Well,

they all do,

Jim.

We can't help the way a king smells;

history don't tell no way."